Denny Glans… Kenan Thompson
David… Idris Elba
Jackie… Cecily Strong
Lawrence… Beck Bennett
[Starts with Can I Play That intro]
Narrator: And now it’s time for actors least favorite game—
Audience: Can I Play That?
Narrator: With your host, Denny Glans.
[Cut to Denny Glans]
Denny Glans: Hello, everybody. Hello and welcome to Can I Play That. Where I describe a role in an upcoming movie and our contestants, [Cut to the contestants] David, Jackie and Lauren, all working actors will have decide, [Cut to Denny Glans] “Can I play that?” For example, it was just announced that Will Smith will play the father of the William’s sisters. But can he play that? [Cut to Contestants. Lawrence hits the button.]
Lawrence?
[Cut to Lawrence]
Lawrence: Yes, of course, he’ll do a great job. [Wrong answer buzzer]
[Cut to Denny Glans]
Denny Glans: Oww! Anybody else.
[Cut to David and Jackie. Jackie hits the button.]
Jackie: He absolutely cannot. He’s not black enough. [Right answer ring]
David: What?
[Cut to Denny Glans]
Denny Glans: You are right, Jackie.
[Cut to David and Jackie]
David: Wait, wait, wait. Is this real?
[Cut to Denny Glans]
Denny Glans: It sure is because this game is produced by twitter. Twitter, one mistake and we’ll kill you. All right, our first role is blind person, can you play it?
[Cut to Contestants. David hits the button.]
David: Yeah, can I play that. [Wrong answer buzzer] What?
[Cut to Denny Glans]
Denny Glans: Wow, god took their sight and now you want to take their jobs?
[Cut to David]
David: No, no, no. Wait a second. Wait a second. Isn’t that what acting is all about? You know, becoming somebody you’re not?
[Cut to Denny Glans]
Denny Glans: Not anymore, no. Now it’s becoming yourself but with a different haircut. Okay, next role, astronauts.
[Cut to Lawrence]
Lawrence: No, I cannot play that. [Right answer ring]
[Cut to David]
David: Wait, why can’t he play that?
[Cut to Lawrence]
Lawrence: I just sensed it was a trap.
[Cut to Denny Glans]
Denny Glans: And it was. The astronaut was secretly Mexican all along.
[Cut to Denny Glans]
David: Secretly?
Denny Glans: That’s right. The astronaut seemed white the whole movie, but in the last scene, when he gets back from Jupiter, he goes ’23 and me’ and discovers he’s 5% Mexican.
[Cut to Lawrence]
Lawrence: Oh man, that would have been no bueno. [Wrong answer buzzer]
[Cut to Denny Glans]
Denny Glans: Watch it. Okay, now, what about Caitlyn Jenner in the Caitlyn Jenner biopic.
[Cut to David]
David: Okay, I can’t play that.
[Cut to Denny Glans]
Denny Glans: That’s correct. Bonus follow up question, who could play Caitlyn Jenner?
[Cut to Contestants. Jackie hits the button.]
Jackie: No one.
[Cut to Denny Glans]
Denny Glans: That is correct. It is an impossible movie to make, I dare someone to try. All right, a character who is half Asian.
[Cut to David]
David: Is the character visibly Asian?
[Cut to Denny Glans]
Denny Glans: Wow! Visibly Asian? Let’s take 100 points away from him please. And, bonus question, which actor can play Japanese?
[Cut to Denny Jackie]
Jackie: Anyone who’s Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese and maybe Pakistani. [Right answer ring]
[Cut to Denny Glans]
Denny Glans: Exactly. Once you’re generally Asian that’s as far as anybody looks into it. And last role, a ghost.
[Cut to Lawrence]
Lawrence: That depends, who’s the ghost?
[Cut to Denny Glans]
Denny Glans: Michael Jackson.
[Cut to David]
David: Wait, what movie is this?
[Cut to Denny Glans]
Denny Glans: The Michael Jackson ghost movie. It’s on lifetime.
[Cut to Lawrence]
Lawrence: I’m going to say no one can play that. [Wrong answer buzzer]
[Cut to Denny Glans]
Denny Glans: Oww, close, only one person can play the ghost of Michael Jackson. Can you name that person?
[Cut to Jackie]
Jackie: Oh, I know, Rami Malek. [Right answer ring]
[Cut to Denny Glans]
Denny Glans: That is correct. [Cut to a picture of Rami Malek] Somehow Rami Malek can play anybody. [Cut to Denny Glans] All right, let’s move on to our lightning round. You’ll each have 10 seconds to name as many roles as possible that you can play. David, let’s start with you. 10 seconds on the board. What can you play?
[Cut to Lawrence]
Lawrence: A white guy. [Right answer ring] A white guy who gains 50 pounds. [Right answer ring] Slave owner. [Right answer ring] And that’s it. [Right answer ring]
[Cut to Denny Glans]
Denny Glans: That’s correct. You named all three roles you can play. All right. Jackie, your turn. What can you play?
[Cut to Jackie]
Jackie: Mom. [Right answer ring] Horny mom. [Right answer ring] White teacher who helps minorities. [Wrong answer buzzer] A white teacher who learns from minorities. [Right answer ring] And a president of the United States.
[Cut to Denny Glans]
Denny Glans: In comedy or drama?
[Cut to Jackie]
Jackie: Comedy. [Right answer ring]
[Cut to Denny Glans]
Denny Glans: In a comedy, we will accept it, yes. Okay, Derek, you’re up.
[Cut to David]
David: Can I pass?
[Cut to Denny Glans]
Denny Glans: Well, that depends. You want me to put your face on Michael Jackson ghost poster? Okay, then. 10 seconds on the clock. What can you play, and go?
[Cut to David]
David: Sammy Davis Jr. [Wrong answer buzzer]
[Cut to Denny Glans]
Denny Glans: No, he was Jewish.
[Cut to David]
David: Extra in an ADT home commercial. [Wrong answer buzzer]
[Cut to Denny Glans]
Denny Glans: Nope, those are all white people now.
[Cut to David]
David: Alien from outer space. [Wrong answer buzzer]
[Cut to Denny Glans]
Denny Glans: Well, when the actual aliens arrive, do you really want to be the guy who put on green face?
[Cut to David]
David: Fine, how about a new voice in the new ‘Lion King’.
[Cut to Denny Glans]
Denny Glans: Hmm, which voice?
[Cut to David]
David: It doesn’t matter, all animals are African.
[Cut to Denny Glans]
Denny Glans: Yeah, but society has decided that the lion voices are black, but meercat is Billy Eichner.
[Cut to David]
David: Then I’ll play damn bird, Zazu. [Wrong answer buzzer]
[Cut to Denny Glans]
Denny Glans: Oh, I’m sorry, that’s John Oliver. I guess he’s a hold over from when it was a British colony. All right, let’s take a quick break. We’ll return with our final round, Can You Play James Bond?
[Cut to David]
David: Hey, I know the answer to that one.
[Cut to Denny Glans]
Denny Glans: Do you, though? We’ll find out after the break on ‘Can I Play That’?
[Ends with outro]
