Daniel… John Mulaney
Dj, Marcus… Kenan Thompson
Lisa… Ego Nwodim
Jermaine… Chris Redd
[Starts with people dancing in a hall of a party]
[Lisa and Daniel walk in]
Lisa: Okay. Deep breath. My cousin’s wedding is just like any other wedding, okay.
Daniel: But I’ve never met any of your family. It’s just I’m kind of nervous.
Lisa: Why? What is there to be nervous about?
Daniel: I don’t know. I’m a software engineer from Indian Apolis.
Lisa: Okay, these people don’t bite. Okay?
[Cut to the DJ]
DJ: Alright, let’s get it going, y’all. I need everybody on the dance floor. Let’s make it funky, funky, funky. [Cut to everybody, Daniel and Lisa start dancing] Everybody clap your hands. Clap, clap, clap your hands.
Daniel: It’s just – I don’t want to embarrass myself or you.
Lisa: It’s fine. Just be yourself.
DJ: Take it back now, y’all. One hop this time. Two hops this time. Right foot, let’s stomp. Left foot, let’s stomp. Cha cha now, y’all. Turn it up.
Daniel: I’m sorry to be weird. Is your mom here?
Lisa: I told you, everyone’s here.
DJ: Take it back now, y’all. One hop this time. Now shoot them dice. Turn up now y’all. Turn it up.
Lisa: Shoot them dice? Is this the radio?
Daniel: No, this is the club remix, the 12
DJ: Let’s turn them grease. Turn it one time. Cha cha, now y’all. Turn it up.
Daniel: I mean what do I even say to your mom? We have nothing to talk about.
Lisa: You’ll be great. I told you all about you.
DJ: Now pull out your church fans. [Daniel takes the church fan out of his back pocket] And wave that fan.
Lisa: Church fans? I didn’t bring a church fan.
Daniel: Oh, I have an extra. [Daniel takes another church fan out of his back pocket and gives it to Lisa]
DJ: Now, wave it all around. Now wave it all around. Cha cha now y’all. Turn it up.
Daniel: Do you know everybody here?
Lisa: No, I barely know half of these people.
Jermaine: Hey, Daniel. [Jermaine joins Daniel and Lisa]
Daniel: Oh, my god, Jermaine. What are you doing here?
Jermaine: What are you doing?
Daniel: I’m with my girlfriend.
Lisa: Hi, I’m Lisa. You two know each other?
Jermaine: Yeah, we were in the same fraternity.
Lisa: Which one was that?
[Cut to Daniel and Jermaine]
Daniel: Kappa Alpha PSI at Howard University.
Daniel and Jermaine: You know.
Daniel: And about five years ago, we went on a Tom Joyner Cruise where we saw Sinbad an Anita Baker.
Jermaine: Man, that was special right? Looks like my son’s acting up again. Put that down, boy.
Daniel: Oh-oh. Looks like somebody’s going to be on punishment.
Jermaine: You know it. [Cut to Daniel, Lisa and Jermaine] All right Daniel, good to see you. Put your pants back on, boy. [Jermaine leaves]
Lisa: See? It’s not so bad. You have a friend here.
Daniel: Yeah, one.
DJ: Two hops this time. Right foot, two stomps. Left foot, two stops. Make it hutch now y’all.
Daniel: It’s weird for me to be in a new environment.
Lisa: I know. But we all have to do it sometime.
[Ms. Staley joins Lisa and Daniel]
Ms. Staley: Hey, Daniel. I thought that was you.
Daniel: Hey, Ms. Staley. I didn’t know you were here.
Lisa: You know Daniel?
[Cut to Daniel and Ms. Staley]
Ms. Staley: Yeah, we were partners in the stage down at the church. We won $60.
Daniel: We sure did. Hey, are you still watching ‘Power’ on the Starz network?
Ms. Staley: No, child. I had to get rid of the Starz.
Daniel: Oh, it’s a damn shame how expensive these cables are these days. Hey, how’s your foot feeling?
Ms. Staley: It’s better. I got the socks and I have been soaking it every night. Thank you for asking.
Daniel: Well, I’m going to pray on it.
Ms. Staley: Well, thank you darling. You know I’m cooking greens, Sunday, stop by.
[Ms. Staley leaves]
Lisa: Oh, my god. You know my aunt better than I do.
Daniel: Oh, stop. Andrew get things, I’m corny. She’s just being nice.
DJ: Slide to the left. Slide to the right. Now Beyonce one. Now Beyonce two. All right, all right. Good job, everybody. It’s 11:01. And my break was scheduled for 11:00. I’m out of here. Peace.
Lisa: You are going to be fine, tonight.
Daniel: You think so?
Lisa: Yes, I swear. I’d love for you to meet my brother, he’s the DJ.
[Cut to the DJ]
DJ: All right. I want to thank everybody for having me. I just want to give a quick shout out to the man that produced my first mixtape. Daniel, I love you man.
[Cut to Daniel and Lisa]
Daniel: Appreciate you D’ Marcus.
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