Jennifer Lopez
Chad… Pete Davidson
[Starts with Jennifer Lopez rehearsing her show at SNL stage.] [music playing] [Cut to Jennifer Lopez]Jennifer Lopez: Okay. That will work. Thanks guys. I’ll see you tonight. Can you leave my mic open? I’m going to work on some stuff by myself. Thanks, guys.
[lights turned off] [singing]All eyes on me, but my eyes on you
[sound disturbance] [Jennifer Lopez turns back]Hello.
[Cut to Chad trying to unwire his guitar jack]Chad: What up?
[Cut to Jennifer Lopez]Jennifer Lopez: Oh, it’s you. You’re that roadie. You know, I’ve been meaning to ask. What is your name?
[Cut to Chad]Chad: Chad.
[Cut to Jennifer Lopez]Jennifer Lopez: Chad. Nice to put a name to that handsome face.
Chad: Who are you?
[Cut to Jennifer Lopez]Jennifer Lopez: Jennifer Lopez.
Chad: Okay.
Jennifer Lopez: Yeah. Sing here. [Cut to Jennifer Lopez and Chad] Did you hear me singing?
Chad: Yeah.
[Cut to Jennifer Lopez]Jennifer Lopez: Did you like what you heard?
Chad: No.
[Cut to Jennifer Lopez]Jennifer Lopez: God! That is so refreshing. You know, I appreciate your honesty. Since we’re being honest, I have a little confession. Ever since I first saw you, I haven’t been able to get you out of my – [sound disturbance] [cut to Chad connecting his guitar not listening to Jennifer Lopez]
Chad!
Chad: What up?
[Cut to Jennifer Lopez]Jennifer Lopez: Can you not do that now? I’m trying to talk to you.
[Cut to Chad.]Chad: Oh, okay. [Chad throws the guitar away and walks towards Jennifer Lopez] [Cut to Jennifer Lopez Chad]
Jennifer Lopez: You know, I shouldn’t have these feelings for you, Chad. I just got engaged.
Chad: Congrats.
Jennifer Lopez: And I’m in love with Alex.
Chad: Who that?
[Cut to Jennifer Lopez]Jennifer Lopez: Rodriguez. A-Rod.
[Cut to Chad]Chad: Heh-heh, Rod.
[Cut to Jennifer Lopez]Jennifer Lopez: What more could a girl want. He was a Yankee.
Chad: Heh, yank.
[Cut to Jennifer Lopez turns back and continues speaking]Jennifer Lopez: Part of me just want to say screw and it make crazy love to you on the stage right here.
[Cut to chad naked on the stage when Jennifer Lopez is not looking]Chad: Sick.
[Cut to Jennifer Lopez]Jennifer Lopez: But, I can’t.
[Cut to Chad]Chad: Okay. [Chad wears his clothes] [Cut to Jennifer Lopez]
Jennifer Lopez: I’m sorry, Chad. Is this making you uncomfortable?
Chad: I’m good.
Jennifer Lopez: It’s crazy, we just met but I feel like you see me. [Cut to Jennifer Lopez and Chad] It’s funny, when you’re up here on stage in front of thousands of people screaming you name, its easy to get lost in it.
[Chad falls off the stage]Chad! Are you all right?
Chad: I’m good.
[Jennifer Lopez pulls Chad back to the stage laughing]Jennifer Lopez: Did you fall off the stage just to make me laugh?
Chad: No.
Jennifer Lopez: Yeah, right. Flirt. [Chad farts] You know, I’ve seen you watching me dance during my show. I’ve seen you looking at my—
[Cut to and Chad]Chad: Tities?
[Cut to Jennifer Lopez]Jennifer Lopez: You’re bad, Chad. Do you want to dance?
[Cut to Chad]Chad: Okay. [Chad holds a chair in front of him and starts dancing by himself]
Jennifer Lopez: No, I mean slow dance.
[Chad slows down but still is dancing by himself] [Cut to Jennifer Lopez]Oh, god! You’re too much. Come here.
[Chad walks near Jennifer Lopez] [They are dancing] [Chad burps]Somebody had Doritos.
[Chad’s hand is full of sauce and he is holding Jennifer Lopez on her waist]Now where were we?
[Jennifer Lopez moves forward to kiss Chad]Alex: Jen?
Jennifer Lopez: Alex! This is my new choreographer.
Chad: No, I’m not.
[Cut to Alex]Alex: I hope you’re happy.
[Cut to Jennifer Lopez and Chad]Jennifer Lopez: Alex, wait. Chad, I have to go after him.
Chad: Okay.
Jennifer Lopez: And I think you should leave the tour. Goodbye, Chad.
Chad: Goodbye, J-Lo.
