Childbirth Class

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Janelle… Aidy Bryant

Amy… Melissa Villaseñor

Mikey Day

Heather… Ego Nwodim

Donald… Chris Redd

Disa… Heidi Gardner

Magnus… Harry Styles

[Starts with a child birth class. There is a guide and three pregnant couples.]

Janelle: Okay, welcome to child birth class. My name is Janelle. [Cut to Janelle] I’m here as a guide through this very special time. Please feel free to share anything. This safe place.

[Cut to Amy and Mikey]

Amy: I’ll start. Hi, I’m Amy and honestly, my body feels like a mess. My body feels completely different.

Mikey: Oh, honey, you’re doing great.

[Cut to Heather and Donald]

Heather: Hi, I’m Heather. Lately I don’t recognize myself in the mirror.

Donald: Babe, you look beautiful.

Heather: Donald, don’t.

Donald:

[Cut to Janelle]

Janelle: And, Disa and Magnus, how are you doing?

[Cut to Disa and Magnus]

Disa: Oh, hi. I guess I’m like these women said, I’m feeling, how do you say in English? Cute.

[Cut to Janelle]

Janelle: You said you’re feeling cute?

[Cut to Disa and Magnus]

Magnus: Sorry. She learned English on Instagram. She’s been feeling, how you say, sexy as hell, so to say.

Disa: Oh, yeah. Sorry, I said cute when I meant sexy as hell.[Cut to all three couples] My sisters, we are the same. I love you.

[Cut to Janelle]

Janelle: So where are you guys from?

[Cut to Disa and Magnus]

Magnus: Iceland. Disa and I just arrived in America on lip syncing visas.

[Cut to all three couples]

Mikey: What are lip syncing visas?

[Cut to Disa and Magnus]

Magnus: You know, the lip syncing. To do an example.

[Disa covers her mouth and sings as Magnus tries to lip sync.]

Disa: I can’t feel my face when I’m with, you but I like it.

[Cut to Janelle]

Janelle: Wow. Very talented. Dads, how is the pregnancy going for you guys?

[Cut to all three couples]

Mikey: I’m kind of scared. Will I even be a good dad?

Donald: I feel you. Don’t know if I’m ready for this.

[Cut to Disa and Magnus]

Magnus: For sure, my dudes. The struggle is real. Mostly I’ve been snowboarding every day and watching my wife get hotter. Eating Godiva Truffles and making mega gains at the gym. Ready to father. Ready to raise a genius. Maximum effort. Sky’s the limit on dadding.

[Cut to all three couples]

Donald: Dadding?

Mikey: Yeah. Not where I’m at, at all.

[Cut to Janelle]

Janelle: It sounds like everyone is in different places. Have you been getting exercise? Fresh air?

[Cut to all three couples]

Heather: I used to do yoga four times a week but now just walking up the stairs is hard.

Amy: I’m like, is this even my body? I want to lay down all the time.

[Cut to Disa and Magnus]

Disa: Oh, yeah! My girls, I feel you. Lucky I have really easy exercise for pregnant. [Disa stands and shows her exercise] So, have you tried? Have you tried? Have you, have you, have you tried? Have you? Ma, ma, ma, have you tried?

[Cut to all three couples]

Heather: No.

Donald: You could try it.

Heather: Donald, you’re in the danger zone.

[Cut to Janelle]

Janelle: Okay, guys. Now, let’s talk intimacy.

[Cut to Amy and Mikey]

Amy: We don’t have that.

Mikey: Yeah, because you can’t have sex this far along.

[Cut to Janelle]

Janelle: Well, actually—

Amy: No, [Cut to Amy and Mikey] you can’t.

[Cut to Disa and Magnus]

Disa: Us too but we find other ways to connect. What is it called? When he, how you say, slide inside?

[Cut to three couples]

Heather: Sex?

Disa: Yes.

Magnus: Our favorite. The sessions are long and wife is very pleased. Have my dudes tried this?

[Disa and Magnus are preparing to show the other couples something] [Cut to Janelle]

Janelle: Oh! You don’t to have demonstrate it.

[Cut to Disa and Magnus joining their butts]

Magnus: Have you tried?

Disa: Have you tried?

Magnus: Have you tried, my dudes?

[Cut to Janelle]

Janelle: Okay, you guys. You’ve shared a lot. So, let’s open it up to the rest of the group.

[Cut to Disa and Magnus]

Disa: Ow, ow, it hurts.

Magnus: Do you want to tell her? Tell her.

Disa: Okay. Safe space, right?

[Cut to three couples]

Heather: Until today.

[Cut to Disa and Magnus]

Disa: I’ve been gaining lots of weight in my butt but it’s not like fat. Magnus, what would you say is happening to my butt?

Magnus: Juice. Her butt is becoming very juicy. I like it so much.

Disa: Because what if I have the baby and my butt stops being juicy?

Magnus: Then it will go back to how it was before, like really fit and toned. It was like a little basketball butt.

Disa: But look how I have that butt. I don’t even know. [Cut to three couples. Disa looking at Heather] I never exercise. Ma’am? Afterbirth, what even is my butt?

Magnus: Let’s all exchange contact information so we can keep in informed after the birth.

[Cut to Amy and Mikey]

Mikey: Informed on what your wife’s butt will be? I’m down.

[Cut to three couples]

Disa: And us girls, too. I want to send you pictures of the babies.

Amy: Wait. You’re having twins?

[Cut to Amy and Mikey]

Disa: Triplets.

Magnus: There’s three of my dudes in there.

[Cut to three couples. Heather is preparing to fight with Disa and Magnus.]

Heather: Now, I’m mad because I’m about to give birth in jail.

[Cheers and applause]

 

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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