Reese DeWhat… Kenan Thompson
Aunt Emma… Aidy Bryant
Dorothy… Kate McKinnon
Hunk… Alex Moffat
Mikey Day
Beck Bennett
Dr. Pickens… Will Farrell
[Starts with Cinema Classics intro]
Announcer: You’re watching “Cinema Classics” on PBS.
[Cut to Reese De’What in his set]
Reese De’What: Good evening, and welcome to “Cinema Classics.” I’m your host Reese De’What. Tonight we take a closer look at the beloved 1939 film, “The wizard of OZ.” And recently discovered never before seen alternative ending. Why did they film this ending? I do not know. This is not why I’m here. I’m a bad guesser. Just ask my wife. She asked me to guess what she learned in her exercise class, and I said, “acceptance?” Worst couple’s balloon ride ever. Let’s take a look now at the alternate ending in which Dorothy wakes up to find out that her adventures in OZ were all a dream.
[Cut to the movie. The house is falling down.]
[Cut to Dorothy dreaming]
Aunt Emma: Wake up, Dorothy.
Dorothy: There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home.
Aunt Emma: Dorothy, Dear, It’s aunt Emma, darling.
Dorothy: Auntie Em, it’s you.
Aunt Emma: You’ve got quite the bump on the head. We thought we might lose you for a moment.
Dorothy: Oh, but I did go. I left. And I tried to get back for days and days.
Aunt Emma: Well, there, there. You just had a bad dream.
[Hunk and two other men walk in]
Hunk: Remember me, your old pal Hunk?
Mikey: What about me?
Beck: You couldn’t forget my face, could you?
Dorothy: No, but it wasn’t a dream. It was a place. And you were there and you were there. And you and you were a lion and a tin man, and a scarecrow.
[A dwarf walks in. He is Dr. Pickens.]
Dr. Pickens: And what about me? Was I there? Was I in your dream?
Dorothy: Oh, hi, Dr. Pickens.
Aunt Emma: Yes, doctor. Thanks for coming to check on Dorothy.
Dr. Pickens: She seems fine. So, was I in your dream?
Dorothy: I’m trying to remember.
[Other dwarfs walk in]
Kyle: And what about us?
Bowen: Yeah!
Chris: Yeah!
Maya: Were we in the dream?
[Cut to Dorothy]
Dorothy: Well, I mean, everyone was in the—Hey, where’s breakfast?
[Cut to everybody]
Dr. Pickens: What was in the dream? Was I a doctor there, too?
Dorothy: Does it really matter what everybody was?
Chris: What about me? Was I also a teacher?
Kyle: And was I a lawyer?
Dr. Pickens: Tell me what I was.
Dorothy: Okay, well, um, actually, you were a mayor.
Dr. Pickens: Really? A mayor? Of where? New York, Chicago?
[Cut to Dorothy]
Dorothy: I’d love to move off the dream stuff, but if you’re insisting it was— Munchkinland.
[Cut to the dwarfs]
Dr. Pickens: Munchkinland?
Bowen: What were we, funny little weirdos?
Dr. Pickens: To make you laugh?
[Cut to Dorothy]
Dorothy: Oh, no. Not at all.
[Cut to everybody]
Dr. Pickens: What were we wearing?
Dorothy: What?
Dr. Pickens: [Yelling] What were we wearing?
Dorothy: Well— [Dorothy looks at her dolls]
[Cut to the baby dolls]
Kyle: Oh, my god. [Cut to the dwarfs] When you close your eyes that’s how you see us? As your little nightmare baby dolls?
[Cut to Dorothy]
Dorothy: No, no! You were all heroes in your own small ways.
[Cut to the dwarfs]
Dr. Pickens: I wish the tornado had killed you.
Aunt Emma: Doctor!
Dr. Pickens: Sorry, but I’m mad as hell.
Kyle: Me, too.
Bowen: So mad! [They all start dancing] Okay.
[Cut to everybody]
Dorothy: This is the exact dance you did in the dream.
Aunt Emma: That’s pretty adorable.
Chris: So, we just dance for your amusement?
Dr. Pickens: Like fools?
[Cut to Dorothy]
Dorothy: No, no, you danced on the grave of the lady I killed. [Cut to everybody] That was your job as part of lollipop. Guild.
Maya: So, we owned a lollipop factory?
[Cut to Dorothy]
Dorothy: No, you just kind of held them, kissed them and rode them. Around like little horses.
[Cut to the dwarfs]
Kyle: Oh, my god. So these lollipops–
[Cut to Dorothy]
Dorothy: Were bigger than your head? Yes. It’s more dignified than it sounds. The munchkins, you see, were a noble race.
[Cut to Kyle and Bowen]
Bowen: Race?
Dorothy: I can’t help what I dreamed. [Cut to Dorothy] There were all sorts of creatures there.
[Cut to everybody]
Dr. Pickens: Creatures?
Dorothy: Yeah, like flying monkeys.
Kyle: So we’re on the same level as an airborne chimp.
Dorothy: I’m so sorry. I know this all sounds strange, but you were a very important part of the adventure.
Maya: So, we were with you the whole way?
[Cut to Dorothy]
Dorothy: No, I kind of peaced out to the woods with my dog and I think maybe saw that one of you had hanged yourself?
[Cut to Dr. Pickens]
Dr. Pickens: And what did you do about it?
[Cut to Dorotny]
Dorothy: Um, goodnight.
[Cut to everybody]
Dr. Pickens: Let’s get our of here. Your house is a dump, by the way.
[Cut to Dorothy pretending to sleep]
[Cheers and applause]
