Jason… Harry Styles
Scotty… Kyle Mooney
Colby… Chris Redd
[Starts with a video clip of a school]
[bell rings]
[Cut to the students at their lockers]
[Scotty is at his locker. Jason and his friends walk near him.]
Bryan: Hey, Jason. Look, it’s your lame older brother.
Jason: Hey, come on, man! That’s not cool. What’s up, Scotty?
[Cut to Scotty]
Scotty: Nothing. Okay?
Jason’s friend: So, Scotty, does it suck to know that your little brother is more popular that you?
[Cut to Scotty]
Scotty: I don’t care about popularity.
Bryan: Then, [Cut to everybody] I guess you don’t care about this.
[Jason’s friend pours his drink on Scotty’s head]
Jason: Take it easy, Bryan! Hey, Scotty, mom asked me to take out the trash, but we’re going to go watch that new action movie with all the girls. Will you do me solid?
[Cut to Scotty]
Scotty: Sure, Jason. Have fun.
[Cut to everybody]
Jason: Thanks! I owe you big bro.
[Jason and his friends leave]
[Music stars]
[Cut to the music video]
Scotty: Jason thinks he’s so damn cool,
he’s a freshman, I’m a senior at school
‘friends’, I guess he’s got quite a few
I don’t have many but it’s nothing new
because I’m unique, and I’m on my own path
I draw castles, write stories in class
to me that’s cool, I’m not causing trouble with the buddies
or kissing girls and being cute and funny
the wrestling team is also a source
but he made Varsity, I did not!
It hurt me, and I feel so alone,
and the worst thing is, Jason lives at my home.
I hate my little brother, I wish I had another
J-J-Jason, you’re not that cool
I hate my little brother, I wish I had another
you should go to another school
Jason thinks he’s cool because he tried beer,
but I got news for you, right here!
It’s not cool! Because you’re under age
Follow rules like me and stay safe
Now, that’s cool, so is reading for pleasure
imagining the world, now that’s a treasure,
also, I’m pretty sure mom loves you more than me…
anyway, here’s a rap by Colby
[Colby enters]
Colby: Ya’ll know me.
Scotty: Colby!
Colby: L-i-t-t-l-e brother, another boy that came from your mother
but me? I only have a dog and a kitty cat
they’re my brothers but you think about dad
Scotty: What? No! The song isn’t about animals. It’s about my little brother. And why was it so short?
Colby: Sorry man! I was really busy this week.
Scotty: Forget it! Let’s just do our flows.
Colby: Alright!
[Colby and Scotty start somersaulting]
Jason: Yo, Scotty!
[Cut to Jason walks to Scotty in the school]
I’m sorry about my friends. Do you want to come and see the movie with us? It’s supposed to be the most exposed they’ve ever had!
Scotty: No way! Don’t you get it? You and your friends are bad people. Sometimes I wish you had never been born.
Jason: Oh! Okay!
[Music starts]
[Cut to the music video of Jason]
Jason: Scotty, can’t you see?
you’re the guy I wish I could be
stories and drawings and all of your books
I take it all over my good looks
the pressure to be the coolest of class
it’s not worth it and I know it won’t last
yes, I’ve had sex and it feels great
the girl’s body, butt, the shape
it’s amazing, a ride like no other
except for when you’re hanging with your brother
but back to sex, such a good feeling
call me pig-boy because you know I’ll be squealing
back to you, number 1 big bro,
I love you Scotty, just had to let you know
[Cut to the school]
Jason: So, what do you say? Movie?
Scotty: I guess my answer is…
[Cut to Scotty’s music video]
Scotty: Yes!
[Cut to the school]
Jason: Great!
[Colby joins with his cat and dog]
Colby: What about me?
Jason: Yeah, right! I’m going to go with Colby instead.
[Colby passes his dog and cat to Scotty]
[Jason and Colby leave]
[Even the cat Colby left pours a drink on Scotty’s head]
[Bell rings]
Your expertise on this subject shines through in this post.