Dad… Woody Harrelson
Scotty … Kyle Mooney
Colby … Chris Redd[Starts with a boy looking at his test marks. He can hear his dad coming to his room speaking on the phone.]
Dad: Well, have you looked at the contract?[Dad enters the room]
Charlie, look. We sell computers. You’re my business partner at our computer company. Okay? So, let’s get the deal done. Okay?
Son: Hey, dad. Can I talk to you?
Dad: Of course, son. Is there a problem?
Scotty: You see—[Phone ringing]
Dad: Hold that thought. Charlie? No, no, no. That’s not gonna work. We’re in the computer business after all. Okay, so call me back. And Charlie, you’re one hell of a partner.
You were saying, son?[Cut to Scotty]
Scotty: Well, my friend failed the math test. And I guess I’m just wondering what you’d say to him if he were you son.[Cut to dad]
Dad: Well, I know he wouldn’t be playing video games for the next few years.[Cut to Scotty]
Scotty: Dad, I’ve got to tell you something. So I—[Phone ringing]
Dad: Just one second, Kiddo. Talk to me. Wait, who is this? Oh, Charlie.[Everything gets dark except Scotty] [Scotty starts rapping]
Scotty: Dad he’s like a hero to me
always has been and always will be
I worship the ground that he walks on
just wish he would trash that phone that he talks on
Dad, your’e obsessed with work
don’t you know your obsession hurts
look at what this thing did to you
is this the only way that I to get through to you
Dad, so busy all the time
b-b-busy all the time
dad, so busy all the time
I-I-I wanna hang with you
ever since the day dad got the phone
I got to say I’ve felt so alone
hello dad, don’t you know that you’re needed
“we’re sorry the connection with your dad cannot be completed”
also I’m not popular and girls don’t like me
it all fells very bad
now here’s Colby rapping about dad
ladies and gentlemen Colby
Colby: D-A-D-D-Y that’s the guy
always have a shoulder for you to cry
catching the ball catching the fish
catching time with pops is a beautiful wish
since back in the day dads have been killing it
barbeque boss with the burgers straight grillin it
don’t forget the OG dad showing love
our heavenly father lord up above amen
Scotty: No, it’s not supposed to be a religious thing. It’s about my dad.
Colby: Oh, sure.
Scotty: Do it like we talked about.
Colby: All right.
Scotty: All right, let’s do the dancing we practiced.
One, two, three, get loose now![Scotty and Colby are dancing]
B-b-busy all the time
I-I-I wanna hang with you dad[Cut to Dad]
Dad: We’re dong here. Right, son?[Cut to Scotty]
Scotty: No, dad. I think I’m done. I failed the math test.
Dad: Let me call you back. [Cut to Dad] Scotty, why didn’t you tell me?[Cut to Scotty]
Scotty: I tried to. But I think your line was busy.[Cut to Dad]
Dad: I’ve been ignoring my own son.[Dad starts rapping]
What have I become
it all began when the —[phone ringing] [Dad starts talking on the phone]
“Charlie, talk to me. Yeah. No, no, no. I’m just doing a rap for my son Scotty. Yeah, it’s to a funky beat. Really? Oh, hell, I can get there right away. Let me just do my last line for the rap. Yeah.”
And that’s why I’m your dad[Dad starts talking on the phone]
Yeah. Charlie. Can I come?
Scotty: Dad! Can I come?
Dad: Sorry son. Not this time. Colby![Colby joins dad]
Colby: Praise the lord. We’re going to have some fun.
Scotty: Dad.[Dial tone] [Cheers and applause]