Ego Nwodim
Kenan Thompson
[Starts with Ego Nwodim and Kenan dining hall]
[Ego Nwodim is using her phone]
Ego Nwodim: Honey, we jut got an alert. There’s some weird charges on the discover card. I’ll call them.
[Cut to Kenan Thompson]
Kenan Thompson: Good luck. You’ll just be talking to a robot.
[Cut to Ego Nwodim and Kenan Thompson]
Ego Nwodim: Nope, with discover card, you get to talk to a real person who’s just like you. Hello? Is someone there?
[Cut to Another Ego Nwodim in customer service. It’s dark like in a horror movie.]
Another Ego Nwodim’s: [Speakse creepily] Discover-card.
[Cut to Ego Nwodim]
Ego Nwodim: Hey, girl. There’s some weird charges on my account. I think someone stole my identify.
[Cut to Another Ego Nwodim]
Another Ego Nwodim’s: I can help you with that.
[Cut to Ego Nwodim]
Ego Nwodim: It looks like someone used my card to buy a bunch of red jump suits, motorcycle gloves, hundreds of rabbits and some giant scissors.
[Cut to Another Ego Nwodim. She is wearing red jump suit and motorcycle gloves, is carrying a rabbit, and she has a scissors in her hand]
Another Ego Nwodim’s: [Smiling] That’s so random.
Ego Nwodim: Oh, my god. [Cut to Ego Nwodim] I say random all the time. Are you me?
[Cut to Another Ego Nwodim]
Another Ego Nwodim’s: What? A long time, there was—
[Cut to Kenan Thompson]
[Kenan Thompson whispers and reminds Ego Nwodim that they have to go to the beach]
[Cut to Ego Nwodim]
Ego Nwodim: Sorry, can we speed this up? My family and I are on vacation.
[Cut to Another Ego Nwodim]
Another Ego Nwodim’s: When you go on vacation, I sit in a cave.
[Cut to Ego Nwodim]
Ego Nwodim: That sounds bad. I would not switch places with you.
[Cut to Another Ego Nwodim]
Another Ego Nwodim’s: Be careful.
Ego Nwodim: Hello?
[Another Ego Nwodim starts acting creepy]
[Cut to Ego Nwodim]
[Talking to Kenan Thompson]
Ego Nwodim: Babe, I’m not getting anywhere with this woman.
[Cut to Ego Nwodim and Kenan Thompson]
Kenan Thompson: You know what? I got this. Give me the phone. [Cut to Kenan Thompson]
Yeah, this is discover?
[Cut to Another Kenan Thompson in red sweater in dark customer service]
Another Kenan Thompson: Hey!
[Cut to Kenan Thompson]
Kenan Thompson: That ain’t it.
[Cut to Ego Nwodim and Kenan Thompson]
[Kenan Thompson hands over the phone to Ego Nwodim]
Kenan Thompson: That’s why you handle the money.
