Discover Card | Season 44 Episode 16

Ego Nwodim

Kenan Thompson

[Starts with Ego Nwodim and Kenan dining hall] [Ego Nwodim is using her phone]

Ego Nwodim: Honey, we jut got an alert. There’s some weird charges on the discover card. I’ll call them.

[Cut to Kenan Thompson]

Kenan Thompson: Good luck. You’ll just be talking to a robot.

[Cut to Ego Nwodim and Kenan Thompson]

Ego Nwodim: Nope, with discover card, you get to talk to a real person who’s just like you. Hello? Is someone there?

[Cut to Another Ego Nwodim in customer service. It’s dark like in a horror movie.]

Another Ego Nwodim’s: [Speakse creepily] Discover-card.

[Cut to Ego Nwodim]

Ego Nwodim: Hey, girl. There’s some weird charges on my account. I think someone stole my identify.

[Cut to Another Ego Nwodim]

Another Ego Nwodim’s: I can help you with that.

[Cut to Ego Nwodim]

Ego Nwodim: It looks like someone used my card to buy a bunch of red jump suits, motorcycle gloves, hundreds of rabbits and some giant scissors.

[Cut to Another Ego Nwodim. She is wearing red jump suit and motorcycle gloves, is carrying a rabbit, and she has a scissors in her hand]

Another Ego Nwodim’s: [Smiling] That’s so random.

Ego Nwodim: Oh, my god. [Cut to Ego Nwodim] I say random all the time. Are you me?

[Cut to Another Ego Nwodim]

Another Ego Nwodim’s: What? A long time, there was—

[Cut to Kenan Thompson] [Kenan Thompson whispers and reminds Ego Nwodim that they have to go to the beach] [Cut to Ego Nwodim]

Ego Nwodim: Sorry, can we speed this up? My family and I are on vacation.

[Cut to Another Ego Nwodim]

Another Ego Nwodim’s: When you go on vacation, I sit in a cave.

[Cut to Ego Nwodim]

Ego Nwodim: That sounds bad. I would not switch places with you.

[Cut to Another Ego Nwodim]

Another Ego Nwodim’s: Be careful.

Ego Nwodim: Hello?

[Another Ego Nwodim starts acting creepy] [Cut to Ego Nwodim] [Talking to Kenan Thompson]

Ego Nwodim: Babe, I’m not getting anywhere with this woman.

[Cut to Ego Nwodim and Kenan Thompson]

Kenan Thompson: You know what? I got this. Give me the phone. [Cut to Kenan Thompson]

Yeah, this is discover?

[Cut to Another Kenan Thompson in red sweater in dark customer service]

Another Kenan Thompson: Hey!

[Cut to Kenan Thompson]

Kenan Thompson: That ain’t it.

[Cut to Ego Nwodim and Kenan Thompson] [Kenan Thompson hands over the phone to Ego Nwodim]

Kenan Thompson: That’s why you handle the money.

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