Discover Card | Season 44 Episode 16


Ego Nwodim

Kenan Thompson

[Starts with Ego Nwodim and Kenan dining hall] [Ego Nwodim is using her phone]

Ego Nwodim: Honey, we jut got an alert. There’s some weird charges on the discover card. I’ll call them.

[Cut to Kenan Thompson]

Kenan Thompson: Good luck. You’ll just be talking to a robot.

[Cut to Ego Nwodim and Kenan Thompson]

Ego Nwodim: Nope, with discover card, you get to talk to a real person who’s just like you. Hello? Is someone there?

[Cut to Another Ego Nwodim in customer service. It’s dark like in a horror movie.]

Another Ego Nwodim’s: [Speakse creepily] Discover-card.

[Cut to Ego Nwodim]

Ego Nwodim: Hey, girl. There’s some weird charges on my account. I think someone stole my identify.

[Cut to Another Ego Nwodim]

Another Ego Nwodim’s: I can help you with that.

[Cut to Ego Nwodim]

Ego Nwodim: It looks like someone used my card to buy a bunch of red jump suits, motorcycle gloves, hundreds of rabbits and some giant scissors.

[Cut to Another Ego Nwodim. She is wearing red jump suit and motorcycle gloves, is carrying a rabbit, and she has a scissors in her hand]

Another Ego Nwodim’s: [Smiling] That’s so random.

Ego Nwodim: Oh, my god. [Cut to Ego Nwodim] I say random all the time. Are you me?

[Cut to Another Ego Nwodim]

Another Ego Nwodim’s: What? A long time, there was—

[Cut to Kenan Thompson] [Kenan Thompson whispers and reminds Ego Nwodim that they have to go to the beach] [Cut to Ego Nwodim]

Ego Nwodim: Sorry, can we speed this up? My family and I are on vacation.

[Cut to Another Ego Nwodim]

Another Ego Nwodim’s: When you go on vacation, I sit in a cave.

[Cut to Ego Nwodim]

Ego Nwodim: That sounds bad. I would not switch places with you.

[Cut to Another Ego Nwodim]

Another Ego Nwodim’s: Be careful.

Ego Nwodim: Hello?

[Another Ego Nwodim starts acting creepy] [Cut to Ego Nwodim] [Talking to Kenan Thompson]

Ego Nwodim: Babe, I’m not getting anywhere with this woman.

[Cut to Ego Nwodim and Kenan Thompson]

Kenan Thompson: You know what? I got this. Give me the phone. [Cut to Kenan Thompson]

Yeah, this is discover?

[Cut to Another Kenan Thompson in red sweater in dark customer service]

Another Kenan Thompson: Hey!

[Cut to Kenan Thompson]

Kenan Thompson: That ain’t it.

[Cut to Ego Nwodim and Kenan Thompson] [Kenan Thompson hands over the phone to Ego Nwodim]

Kenan Thompson: That’s why you handle the money.

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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