Don Cheadle Monologue | Season 44 Episode 13

[Starts with SNL intro]

Announcer: [Band is playing the music] Ladies and gentlemen, Don Cheadle.

[Don Cheadle gets in the door. He runs to the stage and dances.]

Don Cheadle: Thank you, thank you. Thank you very much. It is so great to be here. I entered ‘The Avengers Host SNL’ Raffle, and I won! [Cheers and applause] So this is my first time hosting, and I think I waited this long, because I’m a little O.C.D. about my projects. I was in the movie ‘Traffic’. Then I was in ‘Rush Hour’. Then I was in ‘Crash’. So that had to be in the right order.[Laughter] I’ve been in show business for over 30 years and a lot of people know me. And a whole lot of people, you know, they sort of know me. I get was I called ‘Percussive recognition’. People are like – [Acting as if he’s trying to get the person’s name, snapping fingers] “oh, you’re, um—um—’ , you know, the longer it goes on, it kind of turns into a Tito Puente thing like—[Act of Tito Puente, snapping fingers] [Laughter]. But when you’ve played as many characters as I have, you’ve got fans from a lot of different things. It’s gotten to the point where I know what people recognize me from based on the face they make when they walk up. You know if I get a dude with a face like— [Face expression as if being proud] I know it’s ‘Boogie Nights’. If I get this – [Joining hands and crying face expression] that’s ‘Hotel Rwanda’ face. And if I get this – [Face expression as if being shocked] well, that’s the face of a true fan who realizes he’s about to meet ice tray from the ‘Homeboy, Sweet Homeboy’ episode of ‘Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’. ! [Cheers and applause]

And really, look, I love any fan who wants to meet me. Especially the people from New York city. I love New Yorkers, because they are direct. Most places, it’s “Hey, can I take a picture?” But in New York it’s like, “Yo, man, let’s get this pic dawg”. [Laughter] And you know they’re not gonna stop with just one. We got three options. We gotta get the goofy one, and we gotta get the serious one, and then all of a sudden I’m taking a picture of just them. [Laughter] I’m not even in it thing. I’m always happy to take a picture. The key is, if you got to wait for the proper  because—

[Leslie Jones joins Don Cheadle]

Leslie Jones: Yeah! That’s all I need to hear, baby. Yeah! Let’s get this thing man. [Leslie starts getting selfies with Don Cheadle]

Don Cheadle: I’m kind of in the middle of my monologue right now.

Leslie Jones: Oh, we getting this pic. Say ‘Rwanda Forever’.

Don Cheadle: All right. Rwanda Forever.

Leslie Jones: Now take a picture of me [Leslie passes her phone to Don] and make it look like I ain’t looking.

Don Cheadle: I got you. I got you. [Leslie poses] We’re good.

Leslie Jones: Oh my god. Thank, Don! We gotta have a great show tonight. It’s Don Cheadle is here!

Don Cheadle: Hey, Gary Clark Jr.! Stick around, we’ll be right back!

[Ends with Leslie and Don taking more selfies]
avatar
  Subscribe  
Notify of