Doug Miller… Mikey day
Mark Laramie… Kyle Mooney
Laszlo Holmes… Chance the Rapper
The Captain… Bowen Yang
Fan… Chloe Fineman[Starts with League of Legends World Champions intro]
Announcer: League of Legends World Champions only on MSG.[Cut to the reporter’s set]
Doug Miller: Welcome back to MSG’s e-sports coverage of the League of Legends World Championship. Doug Miller alongside Mark Laramie. And what a tournament it has been.
Mark Laramie: Incredible. Take a look at this.[Cut to a video clip of League of Legends game]
Moments ago, Shadow Gaming eliminated top-ranked team Echo claiming their Nexus in only 32 minutes.
Doug Miller: Whoo! Did not see that coming. Wow! Our Regular e-sports reporter Jake Sussman is out today, taking the PSATs. Good luck, Jake. Yeah. Filling in for him is Laszlo Holmes, [Cut to split screen. Laszlo Holmes at left and the news set at the right] who usually covers the Knicks for us here at MSG. How you feeling down there, Laz?
Laszlo Holmes: Confused. To be honest, when they asked me to cover a League of Legends tournament, I assumed it was a basketball game with NBA legends. This is not that. It is a computer game contest.
Mark Laramie: Yeah, a little different.[Cut to Laszlo Holmes]
Laszlo Holmes: Yes. I brought a basketball to get signed and someone in the crowd asked me what this was. So, very different that the Knick’s games, but we’re having fun down here. I’m not. But the crowd is. Laszlo Holmes, live at the League of Legos.[Cut to split screen. Laszlo Holmes at left and Mark Laramie at the right]
Mark Laramie: Laz, walk us through the last match.
Laszlo Holmes: No thanks. I’m just playing. In a nutshell, [Cut to Laszlo Holmes] there were ten nerdy dudes sitting at computers with headsets on while 20,000 people screamed like they were watching The Beatles. I did not know this was a thing. I guess e-sports is what white and Asian kids were doing while black kids were inventing hip-hop. Nah, I’m just kidding, though. But you know how they do in e-sports. Ready, set, sit down!
Doug Miller: Now, we’ve got lots to unpack here.
Laszlo Holmes: Well, don’t let me stop you. This is Laszlo Holmes, signing off.
Laszlo Holmes: Now, hold on, Laz. I’m sure you have thoughts on team Echo’s attack strategy.
Laszlo Holmes: I do not.[Cut to the reporter’s set]
Doug Miller: Well, here’s the moment everyone is talking about. Laz, what do you make of this?[Cut to split screen. Laszlo Holmes at left and video clip of League of Legends game at the right]
Laszlo Holmes: Well, to me, this game looks like how a seizure feels. But I think if you know what’s happening in this clip, you need to get out of the house more. No, I’m just kidding. That’s me keeping it light. But in terms of what’s happening in this clip, I don’t know.
Mark Laramie: You can say that again! Echo trying to defend their Nexus with two heros on respawn! And all their CC on cooldown.
Laszlo Holmes: That’s what’s up.[Cut to the reporter’s set]
Doug Miller: Well, they’re taking the loss in stride. Laz, you’re going to like this. Echo’s captain Doublepump just tweeted, “Congrats Shadow Gaming. Can I borrow some XP.”[Cut to split screen. Laszlo Holmes at left and the news set at the right]
Laszlo Holmes: Ha-ha! That means nothing to me.[Cut to the reporter’s set]
Mark Laramie: Laz, we’re hearing that the captain of Shadow gaming is on the floor. Maybe you can get a question in.
Laszlo Holmes: Uh, let’s do that. I’m here with – turn around for me. [The jersey says “S3X PANDA99”] Yeah, I’m not going to say that. So, homey, everybody wants to know, how you going to win that League of Legos today?
The Captain: We got some early kills, top lane evolving and the back lane. We got lucky on turrets in 5V5 seize for the beacon.
Laszlo Holmes: That’s what’s up.[A girl comes in and hugs the captain]
Fan: Oh, I am sorry to bother you, but I love you so much! Like, you don’t understand, I’m like shaking right now!
Laszlo Holmes: From meeting him?
The Captain: Do you want to go backstage?
Fan: Oh, my god, yes! Can my friends come? They love you too!
Laszlo Holmes: What?
The Captain: Okay. Thank you.[The Captain leaves and a group of females followed him back stage] [Cut to split screen. Laszlo Holmes at left and the news set at the right]
Doug Miller: Laz? Did we lose you?
Laszlo Holmes: No! Sorry, what I just saw was so unexpected that my brain went into a Tom Hanks in “Saving Private Ryan” mode. Laszlo Holmes coming at you live from the upside down.
Mark Laramie: Thank you, Laz! When we return, the quarter finals begin.
Doug Miller: And we’ll be one step closer to seeing which team will take home the $7 million grand prize.
Laszlo Holmes: $7 million?
Doug Miller: Stay with us.[Ends with League of Legends World Champions outro]