Show host… Alex Moffat
Ralph… Kyle Mooney
Chantal… Leslie Jones
Jimmy…Don Cheadle
Sandy… Heidi Gardner
Judges… Aidy Bryant, Beck Bennett, Ego Nwodim
[Starts with Extreme Baking Championship intro]
Narrator: We not return to the Extreme Baking Championship on the food network.
[Cut to the show. The contestants are panicking.]
Show host: All right, bakers. I’m sorry to say this, [Cut to Show host] but time is up.
[Cut to Ralph and Sandy]
Ralph: My word!
[Cut to Jimmy and Chantal]
[Cut to Show host]
Show host: Today’s extreme baking theme was cartoon confection and each of you had two hours to make cakes featuring beloved cartoon characters. Now it’s time to present your cakes to the judges. [Cut to Chantal, Show host and the judges] First up is home baker, Chantal.
Chantal: Hi, judges. I’m so excited.
Aidy Bryant: Hi, Chantal. Tell us what you made today, sweetie.
[Cut to Chantal]
Chantal: Well, my character was Olaf the Snowman from the movie ‘Frozen’. [Cut to animated visualization of the cake’s concept] My design uses a marshmallow structure to create a delicious 3D snow bank. Olaf is made from sponge cake and he skated on a frozen pond made of sponge sugar. [Cut to Chantal] Cold never bothered him anyway.
[Cut to the judges]
Ego Nwodim: It’s very ambitious. You did all that in two hours?
[Cut to Chantal]
Chantal: Yes, ma’am. I did.
[Cut to the judges]
Beck Bennett: All right, let’s see it, Chantal.
[Cut to Chantal. She opens the cake box and her cake is terribly made.]
[Cut to the judges]
Aidy Bryant: Wow! Chantal, looks like you had some problems.
[Cut to Chantal]
Chantal: Yes, I had some problems and I did a bad job.
[Cut to the judges]
Ego Nwodim: What went wrong?
[Cut to Chantal]
Chantal: I think my nerves got the best of me and also I’m bad.
[Cut to the judges]
Beck Bennett: All right, well let’s go ahead and taste your cake. [The judges taste the cake]
[Cut to Chantal]
Chantal: Is it good?
[Cut to the judges]
Ego Nwodim: No, it’s not. No.
[Cut to Chantal]
Chantal: I know. I did a bad job.
[Cut to Show host]
Show host: Thank you. All right. Now, next up is home baker and go-to-work dad, Jimmy.
[Cut to Jimmy]
Jimmy: Hey, judges. I want this so bad and I’m ready to compete.
[Cut to the judges]
Beck Bennett: That’s great, Jimmy. Tell us what you did today.
[Cut to Jimmy]
Jimmy: Well, tickle me excited because my character was Tickle Me Elmo’s best friend, the Cookie Monster.
[Cut to the judges]
Aidy Bryant: Weird way to get there, but okay. Okay.
[Cut to animated visualization of the cake’s concept]
Jimmy: I used vanilla sponge cake covered in blueberry royal icing and cookie’s about to hang ten on his brand new skateboard made of taffy. And is that a chocolate chip cookie road he is skating on? [Cut to Jimmy] The answer is, Frick, yes.
[Cut to the judges]
Beck Bennett: Jimmy, that sounds incredible.
Aidy Bryant: Are you happy with how it turned out?
[Cut to Jimmy]
Jimmy: Yes, ma’am, I am.
[Cut to the judges]
Ego Nwodim: Well, let’s see it. Oh, Jimmy.
[Cut to Jimmy’s cake box. Jimmy opens the box and the cake is terribly made.]
Jimmy: It’s bad. I did a bad job.
[Cut to the judges]
Aidy Bryant: What went wrong?
[Cut to Jimmy]
Jimmy: You know, I think just me being here and everything I did while I was here.
[Cut to the judges]
Beck Bennett: And you wrote the name Shawn on the cake. Who is Sean?
[Cut to Jimmy]
Jimmy: I don’t know. I don’t know Sean. I don’t know why I wrote that.
[Cut to Show host]
Show host: Well, that’s too bad. Next up is Sandy. Sandy, tell us what you made.
[Cut to Sandy]
Sandy: Hi, judges. My character was the undersea optimist, Spongebob. He came out so good. I’m just going to show you. [Sandy opens her cake box, and the cake looks great.] Okay. So, what do you think?
[Cut to Show host and the hosts]
Aidy Bryant: It’s fine.
Show host: Next up is Ralph.
[Cut to Sandy]
Sandy: Wait! That’s it? You are moving on?
[Cut to Show host]
Show host: Afraid so, Sandy. Yeap. [Unknown voice says “Kill me!” The Show host looks around.] I’m sorry, hang on. Is that your cake, Jimmy?
[Cut to Jimmy’s Cake, his cake is speaking]
Jimmy’s Cake: I shouldn’t be— Kill me!
[Cut to judges]
Ego Nwodim: What’s going on there, Jimmy?
[Cut to Jimmy]
Jimmy: Well, ma’am—[Jimmy’s cake pukes] I believe that my cake is such an abomination that it has maybe come to life.
[Cut to Jimmy’s cake]
Jimmy’s Cake: Please destroy me! I feel nothing but pain!
[Cut to judges]
Aidy Bryant: Well, that’s disgusting, but also pretty creative.
[Cut to Sandy and Jimmy]
Sandy: I’m sorry, are you seriously saying that cake is better than my cake?
Jimmy’s Cake: Umm, bitch!
[Cut to Show host]
Show host: Sandy, I’m not judge so I can say this. You are coming off as crazy.
[Cut to Jimmy’s Cake. It can’t stop puking.]
Jimmy’s Cake: Grr, cookies!
[Cut to Show host]
Show host: Now, moving on to Ralph. What cartoon character did you choose?
[Cut to Ralph]
Ralph: My cartoon was Yoda, the Pesky Elf.
[Cut to judges]
Aidy Bryant: That’s not a cartoon character and not an Elf, but let’s see it.
[Cut to Ralph. Ralph opens his cake box.]
[Ralph’s cake is Yoda holding a green stick. His cake is fine.]
Ralph: Okay.
Beck Bennett: Okay. [Cut to Beck Bennett] Interesting. And what’s that he’s holding?
[Cut to Ralph]
Ralph: That’s his famous penis, of course.
[Cut to judges]
Aidy Bryant: Wow, we have a tough decision to make.
[Cut to contestants]
Sandy: No, you do not.
[Cut to Jimmy’s cake]
Jimmy’s Cake: Send me hell where I belong! [Jimmy’s cake pukes again]
Jimmy: Shut up. Shut up.
Show host: No! all right. [Cut to Show host] We’ll be back with the judges’ decision right after this.
