Inside the Beltway – SNL

Denise Craw … Aidy Bryant

Walter Dale… Woody Harrelson

Connie Brasheres … Cecily Strong

Quincy Maddox … Kenan Thompson

[Starts with Inside the Beltway intro] [Cut to Denise Craw in her set]

Denise Craw: Good morning and welcome to Inside The Beltway where we look at what’s happening up in Washington. I’m Denise Craw. Joining me as always are [Cut to Walter Dale] Walter Dale from the Forth Worth Star. From the Dallas Morning News, [Cut to Connie Brasheres] Connie Brasheres. And the chair of [Cut to Quincy Maddox] African-American Studies at Rice University, Quincy Maddox. Wow, [Cut to everybody] it’s been a historic week as the house launched an impeachment inquiry into the president. [Cut to Denise Craw] It’s really shaking Washington up. Hasn’t it, Walter?

[Cut to Walter Dale]

Waler Dale: It sure has. I’ve got to say, this feels like a real turning point in the Trump presidency.

[Cut to Connie Brasheres]

Connie Brasheres: You know, it’s gratifying to see our system of checks and balances finally working the way it intended.

[Cut to Quincy Maddox]

Quincy Maddox: Ain’t nothing gonna happen.

[Cut to everybody]

Denise Craw: Hey.

[Cut to Walter Dale and Quincy Maddox]

Walter Dale: Quincy, come on. You have to admit there’s something about this Ukraine story.

[Cut to Connie Brasheres]

Connie Brasheres: You know, it’s amazing. The American people seem to understand the gravity of it right away.

[Cut to Quincy Maddox]

Quincy Maddox: Yeah. I see that. But ain’t nothing gonna happen.

[Cut to Connie Brasheres]

Connie Brasheres: You know, I don’t know. It actually seems the president is in real trouble here.

[Cut to Denise Craw]

Denise Craw: Yeah, you know, Ukraine is likely to be one of many reasons cited in the articles of impeachment. I mean, this is not his first offense. Okay? I mean, remember what happened five months ago. Let’s take a look.

[Cut to Inside the Beltway video bumper] [Cut to a woman giving her speech]

Woman: We believe that no one above the law, including the president of the United States. And we believe that the president of the United States is engaged in a cover-up.

[Cut to Denise Craw]

Denise Craw: And there you have it. The full Mueller report is out, and it cites ten instances of obstruction. It’s really shaken Washington up, hasn’t it, Walter?

[Cut to Walter Dale and Quincy Maddox]

Walter Dale: It has. You know, this feels like a real turning point in the Trump presidency.

[Cut to Qunicy Maddox]

Quincy Maddox: Ain’t nothing gonna happen.

[Cut to Denise Craw]

Denise Craw: Okay. Wow, I forgot about that last part. But we all must acknowledge that the Mueller report is but one stain on an already tarnished presidency.

[Cut to Quincy Maddox]

Quincy Maddox: Uh-huh.

[Cut to Connie Brasheres]

Connie Brasheres: I mean, there’s also the Genueflecting to murderous dictators.

[Cut to Quincy Maddox]

Word.

Connie Brasheres: Calling white supremacists very fine people.

Quincy Maddox: Come on.

[Cut to Denise Craw]

Denise Craw: And lying about hush money to cover up an affair. For real? What an adult film star.

[Cut to Walter Dale and Quincy Maddox]

Quincy Maddox: Oh, damn!

Walter Dale: And this new story about Trump telling the Russians he didn’t care about election interference.

Quincy Maddox: Oh, snap. Well, if that’s true – ain’t nothing gonna happen.

Walter Dale: Quincy, please. This Ukraine episode is a clear a violation of the oath of office, and there are transcripts.

Quincy Maddox: Uh-oh. Here come the transcripts. Because if there’s one thing Americans love, it’s reading.

[Cut to Connie Brasheres]

Connie Brasheres: And keep in mind, impeachment gives congress more powers than they previously had. Adam Schiff says, and I quote, “The big club has been brought out”.

[Cut to Quincy Maddox]

Quincy Maddox: Oh, snap. Adam “The Hammer” Schiff said that? Well, that’s all you had to say.

[Cut to Walter Dale]

Walter Dale: Quincy, you know how this works. It happened in Watergate. It can happen again. First they send out the subpoenas.

[Cut to Quincy Maddox listening to Walter eating popcorn]

Then there’s hearings. Quincy. Quincy. Quincy, stop.

[Cut to Walter Dale and Quincy Maddox]

Quincy Maddox: No, no, no. Tell me what’s next.

Walter Dale: Please put down the popcorn.

Quincy Maddox: Okay.

Walter Dale: Thank you. Now, and don’t forget about this whistle-blower who has agreed to testify before congress.

[Cut to Quincy Maddox]

Quincy Maddox: A whistle-blower? Oh, he going to go missing.

[Cut to Walter Dale and Quincy Maddox]

Walter Dale: What?

Quincy Maddox: Nothing.

Walter Dale: Well, unlike you, I have faith in the process. The system might take a while, but it is working.

Quincy Maddox: Oh, it’s working. For Trump. ‘Cause ain’t nothing gonna happen.

[Cut to Denise Craw]

Denise Craw: Well, Mr. Maddox, in life sometimes people surprise us. Okay? And I think it’s possible that some republicans are about to have a moment of moral clarity.

[Cut to Quincy Maddox]

Quincy Maddox: Oh, you do, do you? Now, let’s roll that clip from 2016.

Denise Craw: Okay. I’m the host.

[Cut to Inside the Beltway video bumper] [Cut to Donald Trump’s speech]

Donald Trump: They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. [Cut to another video of Donald Trump] He’s a war hero ‘cause he was captured. I like people that weren’t captured. Okay? I hate to say. [Cut to another video of Donald Trump] You ought to see this guy. “Oh, I don’t know what to say. Ah!” Grab them by the (beep). You can do anything.

[Cut to Denise Craw]

Denise Craw: Wow, just appalling. I don’t think I’ve heard any man talk like that.

[Cut to everybody]

Walter Dale: It’s revolting. It feels like a real turning point in the Trump candidacy.

Quincy Maddox: Mm-hmm. He gonna win.

[Cut to Denise Craw]

Denise Craw: But I believe – I believe that the arc – I believe that the arc of the moral universe is long but it bends towards justice.

[Cut to Walter Dale]

Walter Dale: Hear, hear.

[Cut to Connie Brasheres]

Connie Brasheres: Well said, Denise.

[Cut to Quincy Maddox]

Quincy Maddox: Well said. Indeed, he gonna win again.

[Cut to everybody]

Denise Craw: Go to commercial. Go to commercial.

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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