Jennifer Lopez’s Unbelievable Year Monologue

0
(0)
[Starts with SNL monologue intro]

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Jennifer Lopez!

[music playing] [cheers and applause] [Jennifer Lopez walks in the door and to the stage]

Jennifer Lopez: Thank you! Thank you, thank you very much. I love being in this city this time of the year because of the great New York holiday traditions. Like people lining up to see the Rockefeller Christmas tree, and New Yorkers gently shoving those same people out of the way so they can get to work, yeah. But Christmas is such an important time to me, because it really makes you look back at the past year. And think about all the things you’re thankful for. And some people are like, “That’s not Christmas. That’s thanksgiving.” To them I say, “No. Shut up.” Okay. Because this year I gotta be honest, I have been so blessed. First off, I got what every girl from the Bronx dreams of. Proposed to by a Yankee. I had the biggest movie opening I’ve ever had, that included a lap dance from Cardi B. I went on to a sold out tour. I slayed the MET GALA and that’s not a brag. A doctor diagnosed it on the spot as a fourth degree slay. I’m about to perform in the super bowl halftime show. And I walked the runway in Milan for the first time wearing a dress I wore 20 years ago. Some people said I look better now than I did then. I’m not bragging. That’s just—you know, gossip. What else? Oh, yeah. I had a big birthday. I turned 50.

[cheers and applause] [Cut to Beck Bennett sitting with the audience]

Beck Bennett: Did she say she’s 50?

[Beck Bennett’s head blows up like a balloon] [Cut to Jennifer Lopez]

Jennifer Lopez: Wow! That man’s head exploded. I’m sorry. But seriously, what I really want to say to everyone watching out there is that the best is yet to come. People try to write you off. It’s all BS. None of us have a shelf life. I mean, look at me. They tried to count me out so many times. But I’m still here. I’m like a little roach, you know. You think I’m gone for good, maybe you haven’t seen me in a few months, but then you go to get a glass of water in the middle of the night and boom, I’ve got an album. Do you want to sing a little song with me?

[music playing] [cheers and applause]

You better watch out

you better not cry

you better not pout

I’m telling you why

Santa Claus is coming to town

he’s making a list

checking it twice

gonna find out

who’s naughty or nice

Santa Claus is coming to town

He sees you when you’re sleeping

he knows when you’re awake

He knows if you’ve been bad or good

so be good for Goodness sake

you better watch out

you better not cry

you better not pout

I’m telling you why

Santa Claus is coming to town \

Let me get some rockettes out here?

[rockettes come in and dance with Jennifer Lopez]

Come on! It ain’t Christmas without the rockettes. Whoo!

Santa Claus is coming

Santa Claus is coming

Santa Claus is coming to town

[music stops]

Merry Christmas! We’ve got an amazing show. DaBaby is here! So stick around. We’ll be right back.

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

Average rating 0 / 5. Vote count: 0

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

Subscribe
Notify of
guest
0 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments