Kit Harington Monologue | Season 44 Episode 17

Kit Harington

Emilia Clarke

Rose Leslie

John Bradley

Night Walker… Pete Davidson

[Starts with SNL monologue intro] [Band is playing music]

Narrator: Ladies and gentlemen, Kit Harington.

[Cheers and applause] [Kit Harington walks in the door and to the stage]

Kit Harington: Thank you, thank you. Thank you, thank you, [Cheers and applause] thank you very much. My name is Kit Harington. Although many of you do probably know me as Jon Snow. [Cheers and applause] I’ve just shaved my beard, so this is more a kind of prepubescent Jon Snow. [Laughter] This is Jon Snow if he suddenly played for the Yankees. [Laughter] I have no idea what that means. [Laughter] The writers told me to say it, so you guys probably know what it means.

Many of you have only seen me in Game of Thrones which is probably a good thing. Some of my other credits include the movie ‘Pompeii’, which somehow prove more of a disaster than the event it was based on. [Laughter] I was also in a movie called ‘Silent Hill: Revelation 3D’. Anyone a fan? No, I didn’t think so. [Laughter]

So, Game of Thrones was obviously huge for me, and I’m very grateful for all the fans. But I got to say after 10 years I’m really excited to see what comes next. And um– Oh! Looks like we’ve got a question.

[Cut to the audience]

Audience: Hey, man, I just wanted to say this is fascinating, dude! Love hearing about the career.

[Cut to Kit Harington]

Kit Harington: Oh, thank you.

[Cut to the audience]

A guy from audience: Yeah, so who wins ‘Game of Thrones’?

[Cut to Kit Harington]

Kit Harington: I’m sorry, I’m not at liberty to reveal that information.

[Cut to the audience]

A guy from audience: At liberty? Bitch, I didn’t come here for sketches. Who wins ‘Game of Thrones’?

[Cut to Kit Harington]

Kit Harington: Yeah, okay! Can we have him removed please?

[Cut to the audience]

A guy from audience: Oh-oh. And you just found yourself in a PR nightmare, man. [Security moves the guy outside] [Cut to Kit Harington]

Kit Harington: Look, I’m sorry, I’m not revealing how the show ends.

Emilia Clarke: Well, all right, [Cut to Emilia Clarke] could you just give us a general sense of how it ends? [Cheers and applause] [Cut to Kit Harington]

Kit Harington: Wait a second, Amelia, you’re in the show? You know already.

[Cut to Emilia Clarke]

Emilia Clarke: Well, yeah, but I forgot. It’s been so damn long since the last season. Plus a lot of my scenes are talking to a dragon which is just a tennis ball on a green pole. So I have no idea what’s actually happening.

[Cut to Kit Harington]

Kit Harington: Well, I’m sorry, you’ll just have to wait and see in a couple of weeks.

[Cut to Emilia Clarke]

Emilia Clarke: All right, fine. Oh, hey! Do you remember in season 6 when we had sex?

[Cut to Kit Harington]

Kit Harington: Yes I do.

[Cut to Emilia Clarke]

Emilia Clarke: Did you know they filmed that?

[Cut to Kit Harington]

Kit Harington: Okay, any other questions?

Audience: Uh, yeah. [Cut to the audience] Do you think it’s weird that Dumbledore and Grindlewald were hooking up?

[Cut to Kit Harington]

Kit Harington: Okay, I think that’s Harry Potter.

[Cut to the audience]

Audience: And what are you?

[Cut to Kit Harington]

Kit Harington: Game of Thrones.

[Cut to the audience]

Audience: Oh, let’s get out of here guys.

[Cut to Kit Harington]

Kit Harington: Sorry for the confusion.

[Cut to John Bradley]

John Bradley: Hey, Kit. [Cheers and applause] [Cut to Kit Harington]

Kit Harington: Hey, John, how are you?

[Cut to John Bradley]

John Bradley: I’m good. I was just wondering, do you know what happens to Samwell Tarley?

Kit Harington: You don’t know what happens to your own character?

[Cut to John Bradley]

John Bradley: They only let me see two pages of the script. My character says “Arghhh”.

Kit Harington: What did the script say before that?

[Cut to John Bradley]

John Bradley: Dragon opens mouth.

[Cut to Kit Harington]

Kit Harington: That doesn’t sound too good, mate. But I can’t  tell you more than that. I’m sorry.

[Cut to John Bradley]

John Bradley: Oh, that’s okay. Kit, one more thing. Do you think we’ll still hang out after the show ends? Like best friends?

[Cut to Kit Harington]

Kit Harington: Sure, John.

[Cut to John Bradley]

John Bradley: What about Tuesday at 6 AM?

[Cut to Kit Harington]

Kit Harington: I’m actually busy on Tuesday.

[Cut to John Bradley]

John Bradley: Wow. You’ve changed.

[Cut to Kit Harington]

Kit Harington: Anymore questions?

[Cut to Night Walker in the audience]

Night Walker: I just need to know, do people hate me? Because it really feels like they hate me.

[Cut to Kit Harington]

Kit Harington: I mean, yeah, you’re the night king. Everyone you touch turns into an ice zombie.

[Cut to Night Walker]

Night Walker: Ah, okay, my bad. But hey, do you think after this we’ll still be friends?

[Cut to Kit Harington]

Kit Harington: We were never friends.

[Cut to Night Walker in the audience]

Night Walker: Samwell Tarley was right. You have changed. [Night Walker leaves the room] [Cut to Kit Harington]

Kit Harington: Okay, I think we’ve had all the questions for now.

Rose Leslie: No, wait, wait. [Cut to Rose Leslie] I have a question. [Cheers and applause] [Cut to Kit Harington]

Kit Harington: My god. Rose. This is my wife, Rose. We actually met on the show.

[Cut to Rose Leslie]

Rose Leslie: Yeah, they know. They know. But I need to as you something, Kit.

[Cut to Kit Harington]

Kit Harington: I’m sorry, honey, I can’t even tell you how ‘Game of Thrones’ ends.

[Cut to Rose Leslie]

Rose Leslie: Oh, no, I don’t care about that. I’m not a nerd. No, my question is what are we going to do for money now? I mean, we didn’t save anything. And you kept telling me, “Oh, I’m the king of the North, we can order Uber eats every night.”

[Cut to Kit Harington]

Kit Harington: Honey, don’t worry, we’ll be okay. I’ll make my jewelry and you have your little songs.

[Cut to Rose Leslie]

Rose Leslie: Oh, okay, honey. I love you. One more question. How soon can you grow back that beard?

[Cut to Kit Harington]

Kit Harington: I love you too. So we’ve got a great show for you tonight. [Night Walker  come to the stage and plays with Kit Harington] Sara Bareilles is here. Stick around. We’ll be right back.

 

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