Kristen Stewart Audience Questions Monologue

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[Starts with SNL Monologue intro]

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Kristen Stewart!

[Band is playing music] [Kristen Stewart walks in and to the stage] [Cheers and applause]

Kristen Stewart: Thank you. Thank you. I am so stoked to be hosting “Saturday Night Live.” I’m going to be real with you all, I don’t feel totally comfy standing up here and talking about myself. I feel like I do at the dinner table sometimes, “Charlie’s Angels” is probably the most fun I’ve ever had done anything but could I please be excused now? So, I thought instead of me just talking up here, I would do one of the audience question monologue. Sound good? All right. What about you? What’s your name?

[Cut to Erin in the audience]

Erin: Hi, my name is Erin. I’m a huge fan.

[Cut to Kristen Stewart]

Kristen Stewart: Thank you. That’s very sweet. So would you say you’re probably closer with your mom or your dad?

[Cut to Erin in the audience]

Erin: Huh? I thought I was going to ask you a question about your career and stuff.

[Cut to Kristen Stewart]

Kristen Stewart: Oh, I already know those answers. So, who do you feel, mom or dad?

[Cut to Erin in the audience]

Erin: Can I not?

[Cut to Kristen Stewart]

Kristen Stewart: That means mom. But you know that?  Thank you for really going there with me. You were present. I appreciate it. How about you, how are you?

[Cut to audience. There’s a guy sitting in the middle.]

Unknown guy: Hey, I’m good.

[Cut to Kristen Stewart]

Kristen Stewart: Like, really, how are you hough?

[Cut to the guy.]

Unknown guy: What do you want from me, Kristen Stewart? I said, “Good.”

[Cut to Kristen Stewart]

Kristen Stewart: Wow, you don’t seem good.

[Cut to the guy.]

Unknown guy: Everybody goes out after work but they won’t tell me where they’re going.

[Cut to Kristen Stewart]

Kristen Stewart: Do you think maybe if they see us kissing on TV, they’ll think you’re kind of cool.

[Cut to the guy.]

Unknown guy: That’s okay.

[Cut to Kristen Stewart]

Kristen Stewart: Fine. Anyone else?

[Cut to Pete Davidson in the audience]

Pete Davidson: Hey, Kristen, I’ll answer some questions. Ask me anything, I’m an open book. I’ll put it all out there.

[Cut to Kristen Stewart]

Kristen Stewart: Yes, you will. The thing is I just think it’s all pretty much out there.

[Cut to Pete Davidson in the audience]

Pete Davidson: Fair.

[Cut to Kristen Stewart]

Kristen Stewart: Actually, everyone in the cast has been super genuine. Everyone is so real, it’s refreshing.

[Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney walks to Kristen Stewart. They are dressed like Kristen Stewart.]

Beck Bennett: Hey, Kristen.

Kyle Mooney: What’s up, Kristen?

Beck Bennett: Yeah, you know we always keep it real with you.

Kristen Stewart: Why are you dressed like me?

Beck Bennett: Who, us?

Kyle Mooney: I always keep it greasy clean.

Beck Bennett: Look, wet, get wet.

Kristen Stewart: That’s what I always say. And you look hot!

Beck Bennett: Yeah! It worked!

Kristen Stewart: So, we’ve got a great show. Coldplay is here. Stick around. It’s going to be tight.

 

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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