Love Island

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Grace … Cecily Strong

Bella Rosa… Phoebe Waller-Bridge

Charlie … Alex Moffat

Siobhan … Chloe Fineman

Finlay … Beck Bennett

Chris Redd

Mackenzie … Aidy Bryant

[Starts with Love Island intro]

Announcer: It’s Love Island, the UK reality station that America is obsessing over. It turns out they also have 100% pure grade trash just like us. Let’s meet the Islanders. 

Grace: I’m Grace. I’m 22 in Liverpool. Yes. But if I were in the states, I’d be 41.

Bella Rosa: I’m Bella Rosa from Essex. My dad is a boxer and my mom is a pub. Just got my lips done. I asked the doctor for an allergic reaction.

Charlie: Hello, I’m Charlie. I’m from murder suicide, England. I’ve got two more years for my face to catch up to my liver.

Siobhan: I’m from part of Ireland where the soil is bones.

Finlay: Call me Finlay. I’m from Scotland but I’m also Italian. So, my father is basically the scariest guy you’ve seen in your life.

Chris: I’m just looking for a lady, like a cheap one, for the rest of my life.

Mackenzie: They call me Mackenzie. And I’m looking for the perfect guy, because there’s absolutely nothing wrong with me.

Announcer: Watch the hottest people from the worst towns immediately couple up with someone based on nothing.

[Cut to Bella Rosa]

Bella Rosa: I would like to couple up with a guy who’s exactly my type on paper. He’s got tattoos. He’s got really great banter. He’s proper fit. But at the same time, I would go with anybody. So, you.

Chris: Hi.

Bella Rosa: Oh. You’ve got great hair.

Announcer: You’ve heard an English accent. You’ve heard an Irish accent. Now, hear all the little weirdies in between.

[Cut to Grace]

Grace: [In strong accent] He crackin’ on with her, and I’m like, I’m getting proper pied off.

[Cut to Finlay]

Finlay: [In strong accent] Aye, I’m straight scunnert with the jobbies.

Mackenzie: What?

Announcer: That’s right, they don’t even understand each other. Tune in as they face challenges like getting up from a beanbag. [Cut to Mackenzie struggling to get up from a beanbag]

You will watch 50 hours of this. You think you won’t, but you will.

[Cut to Grace]

Grace: I’m really looking forward to sleeping with all my new friends. And I might even get in the Wee cuddle.

[Cut to Mackenzie]

Mackenzie: It was awful to watch.

Announcer: You’ll invest in vulnerable moments like when the girls take their makeup off.

[Cut to Mackenzie and Sioban]

Sioban: You know, I put so much bronzer on I think I might be dong brownface. Is this a hate crime?

Mackenzie: That’s not bad, is it? Look really different without me make up on ‘cause of the contour.

[Cut to Sioban]

Sioban: She’s a really nice girl, but I think her face might be a thong.

Mackenzie: What?

Announcer: At any point someone may be forced to leave the villa and turn in their giant microphone.

[Cut to Finlay]

Finlay: This bird and I got great crack. She’s got a great personality. But mostly of all the girls here, she wore the smallest bikini. For a person I would like to couple up – Grace.

[Cut to Grace and Bella Rosa]

Bella Rosa: I knew it, I knew it. I knew it.

[Cut to Mackenzie]

Mackenzie: You’re my best friend in the world.

[Cut to Bella Rosa]

Bella Rosa: Hopping spit in my face. I’m absolutely gutted. [phone chimes] are you joking? 10 million instagram followers. I don’t have to be a stupid prediatric nurse anymore, do I? Cha-ching.

Announcer: Love Island now available on Hulu. We got this, and “The Handmaid’s Tale”.

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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