Lunch Run


Kenan Thompson

Heidi Gardner

Rob… Harry Styles

Melissa Villaseñor

Chris Redd

Ego Nwodim

[Starts with a video clip of a commercial building]

Kenan: I’ve got to say. I think it’s a done deal. So, fingers crossed.

[Cut to inside the office]

Heidi: Okay, everybody. The contracts are officially signed.

[Everybody is celebrating] [Cut to Heidi and Rob]

So, lunch is on the company today. And our new intern, Rob from the UK, is going to pick it up. Thank you, Rob.

Rob: No problem.

Heidi: So, where are we going? Any suggestions?

[Cut to Melissa]

Melissa: There is a new Thai place that’s supposed to be good.

[Cut to Ego]

Ego: Or, how about pizza? That’s always fun to share.

[Cut to Heidi and Rob]

Rob: Sorry, can I make a suggestion?

Heidi: Sure.

Rob: Cool. I thought I could get us all those new chicken sandwiches from Popeye’s.

[Cut to Kenan. He is staring at Rob.]

Kenan: From where now?

[Cut to Rob]

Rob: From Popeye’s. They don’t have one in England but it’s just like KFC, right?

[Cut to Kenan.]

Kenan: No. No, it’s not.

[Cut to Rob]

Rob: Either way, I thought I could go there by myself and get like 15 chicken sandwiches.

[Cut to Ego staring at Rob.]

Ego: By yourself? So, what you want to go to a Popeye’s alone in the middle of the lunch rush, then buy up all the chicken sandwiches?

[Cut to Rob]

Rob: Yes. That’s the plan.

[Cut to Kenan.]

Kenan: Is there even a Popeye’s around here?

[Cut to Rob]

Rob: Sure. I found one just down the street on Frederick Douglass Boulevard.

[Cut to Ego and Kenan staring at Rob]

Kenan: Did you say Frederick Douglass Boulevard?

[Cut to Rob]

Rob: Yes. It’s right between the liquor store and the foot locker.

[Cut to Ego and Kenan staring at Rob. Ego stands.] [Cut to Melissa]

Melissa: Sounds great. I love chicken sandwiches.

[Cut to Heidi and Rob]

Heidi: Sure, I’m down. I heard their chicken sandwich was so popular that they were out of them for three months.

[Cut to Melissa]

Melissa: Yeah. And when people discovered that they didn’t have any left, they didn’t like it.

[Cut to Kenan.]

Kenan: Man, they went crazy.

[Cut to Rob]

Rob: I’ll be fine. But I hear there’s a line out the door every afternoon. I’m sure they’ll just let me cut. I’ll just go in and say, “Give me every chicken sandwiches you have, I’m in a hurry.”

[Cut to Ego looking at Kenan] [Cut to Kenan]

Kenan: Do you really think you can do that?

[Cut to Rob]

Rob: Absolutely. Don’t worry. Even though I’m just an intern, I get things done. I don’t mind yelling if I need to. Even if the cashier is a woman.

[Cut to Chris (Cleaner) staring at Rob]

Chris: I don’t even know you but I don’t think I can let you do this.

[Cut to Rob]

Rob: Don’t worry. I’ll be fine.

[Cut to Kenan]

Kenan: Rob, at least take me with you. You can’t carry all that food.

[Cut to Rob]

Rob: No way. I’m the intern and it is my job. And I can hold a lot of sandwiches. I’ll just wear my big backpack and my long coat.

[Cut to Ego and Kenan]

Both: No.

[Cut to Chris]

Chris: Okay, you gonna die.

[Cut to everybody]

Kenan: Okay, look. I’ve got to level with you. There are not many things in this country [Cut to Kenan and Rob] where our people get first dibs but the Popeye’s Chicken Sandwich, that’s one of them.

Rob: Okay.

Ego: It’s like, [Cut to everybody] you have to take a step back on this one. Alright? Imagine if I went to a whole foods and bought up all those white claw seltzers you all like.

[Cut to Heidi staring at Ego]

Heidi: That’s just selfish.

[Cut to everybody]

Kenan: You see? You see that reaction right there? Imagine that times a million.

Chris: We cannot put you in the middle of that situation like that.

[Cut to Kenan and Rob]

Rob: Sorry. I’m going. I have to.

Kenan: Don’t.

Rob: I have to.

Announcer: Jordan Peele presents White Get Out, starring Harry Styles as intern Robert E. Lee. Now available on Disney Plus.

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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