Eddie Murphy…Mr. Robinson
Patrick…Chris Redd[Mr. Robinson opens the door and enters the room]
♪ It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day for a neighbor. ♪
♪ Could you be mine ♪[Comes downstairs, opens closet & hangs his coat & puts on a yellow jacket]
♪ Would you be mine ♪
♪ I am gone for good but it’s now all right my neighbors are all black but now they white ♪[Sits on the bench, put shoes on]
♪ So the check cashing place turned into a bank ♪
♪ And the stairs they don’t stink ♪
♪ The white people came and changed everything ♪
♪ But I am still your neighbor.[Looking at the camera while tying his shoes]
Mr. Robinson: Hey, boys, and girls.
It’s your old pal Mr. Robinson. So much has changed since we last spent some time together.
My neighborhood has gone through so much.
It has gone through something called gentrification. Can you say that?
It’s like a magic trick. White people pay a lot of money and then poof!
All the black people are gone.
But where do they go, boys and girls?
Back to where they come from, of course.
Atlanta. now it’s just me by myself.
You’re all probably wondering how Mr. Robinson can afford to live in this neighborhood.
That’s the word of the day.[Walks up to ‘Squatter’s Rights’ board]
Mr. Robinson: Squatter’s rights. It’s like finders’ keepers but for other people’s houses.[Doorbell rings. Eddie Murphy looks excited. Walks up to the stairs, waves at the camera to come]
Mr. Robinson: Who could that be?
Let’s go see, boys and girls.
Mr. Robinson: Who is it?[Damien speaks from the other side of the door]
Damien: It’s Damien and Mikka from 7 f.[Mr. Robinson looks at the camera]
Mr. Robinson: Damien and Mikka are my new neighbors.
They paid $1.2 million for an apartment where Mr. Robinson’s friend used to cook crack.
Let’s see what they want.
Damien: Hey, Mr. Robinson. Sorry to bother you.
We ordered a new 72-inch Samsung TV and they say it was delivered, but it’s not in the lobby.
We were wondering if you knew anything about that.[Mr. Robinson looks at the camera]
Mr. Robinson: Don’t worry, boys and girls. Mr. Robinson knows just what to
say in situations like this.
Mr. Robinson: You think I stole your TV cause I’m black?
Damien & Mikka: No! Of course not! [Puts hands on the face & act embarrassed & surprised] [Mr. Robinson looks at the camera]
Mr. Robinson: It always works, boys and girls.
Damien: We would never do that.
Mikka: Yeah, no. We’re asking everyone. Not just you.
Damien: Yeah, I’m sorry we gave you that impression.
Mikka: Yeah & we’ll get out of your hair.[Damien & Mikka slowing walking back]
Damien: Yeah, so, if you see the tv, let us know.
Mikka: Oh, and we would love for you to come to our holiday party.[Mr. Robinson yelling at Damien & Mikka. Shuts the door on their faces]
Mr. Robinson: Why I want to come to your holiday party?[Mr. Robinson pans back at camera & smiles]
Mr. Robinson: Can you believe the nerve of them boys and girls?
There is a special word for that.[Walks downstairs. Pick up the remote to turn on the TV] [RACIST shows up on the TV screen. Next to the TV, plenty of opened Amazon delivery boxes.]
Mr. Robinson: Racist. They weren’t being good neighbors at all.[Puts down the remote. Someone knocks on the door]
Mr. Robinson: Excuse me, boys and girls. It’s more visitors. [Looking at the camera] [Starts yelling at the door]
Damien, I didn’t take your TV and you can’t prove nothing![Patrick speaks from behind the door]
Patrick: I’m not Damien, sir. My name is Patrick.
Mr. Robinson: I don’t know no damn Patrick!
Patrick: I know that but did I a DNA test and they said you’re my father.
I just want to meet you.[Mr. Robinson looks surprised]
Mr. Robinson: Boys and girls, there is a new company called 23 and me.
And because of them, 23 people now say their father is me![Turns to the door and yells]
Mr. Robinson: Be right there![Pans back at the camera]
Mr. Robinson: That’s my cue, boys and girls. I have to go tell police there
is a strange black man banging on my door.[Walks up to the window on the left side of the room]
Until we meet again, ♪ tomorrow, tomorrow ♪[Slowly climbs out of the window]
♪ I’ll come back home tomorrow when my kid is not here ♪[Waves at the camera & close the window]
♪ Goodbye, boys and girls! ♪