Storekeeper… Paul Rudd
Kenan Thompson[Starts with people in an antiques store] Cecily Strong: What a beautiful antiques store.
Kyle Mooney: Honey, look at this old sign. [Cut to Cecily Strong and Kyle Mooney] It says, ‘I only drink on days that start with T. Tuesday, Thursday, Today, Tomorrow, Thaturday, Thunday.
Cecily Strong: That’s hilarious. We probably don’t need that since you’re not drinking anymore.
Kyle Mooney: Oh, right.
Cecily Strong: You do remember that conversation?
Kyle Mooney: Yeah, sure. Hey, look what Emily found.[Cut to everybody]
Cecily Strong: Oh! [Cut to Cecily Strong, Emily and Kyle Mooney] Look, it’s a music box with a ballerina on top. You know, my grandmother had one of these.[Cut to everybody]
Storekeeper: Oh, that’s a wonderful choice. [Store keeper walks to them] They don’t make them like that anymore. And very affordable.
Cecily Strong: Our daughter just started ballet lessons.
Kyle Mooney: She’s not very good.
Cecily Strong: $60? I don’t know.[Cut to the storekeeper]
Storekeeper: Wind the bottom and she’ll dance for you.[Cut to Cecily Strong, Emily and Kyle Mooney] [Cecily Strong winds the bottom] [music playing]
Kyle Mooney: Oh, wow. Don’t you wish you could dance like that, sweetie?
Cecily Strong: The song is so pretty. Do you know the name of it?[Cut to the storekeeper]
Storekeeper: Of course. It’s ‘Fancy party’.
Kyle Mooney: ‘Fancy party’? I don’t know that.[Cut to the storekeeper]
Storekeeper: Sure you do. It’s a famous old beautiful song. Wind it again and let’s see if I remember the words.[Cut to everybody] [Cecily Strong winds the bottom] [music playing] [Cut to the storekeeper]
Storekeeper: It started, the fancy party’s finally getting started
nothing can go wrong, owe wait, I farted,
I farted, now my whole world will never be the same.
And that’s ‘fancy party’.[Cut to Cecily Strong, Emily and Emily]
Kyle Mooney: Hang on. The song ‘Fancy Party’ is about a ballerina having gas at a party?[Cut to the storekeeper]
Storekeeper: That’s right. And the catastrophic effect it has on her life, relationships and dancing career.[Cut to Cecily Strong, Emily and Emily]
Kyle Mooney: That’s not real.[Cut to everybody]
Storekeeper: Sure it is. Your grandmother probably sang it to you while you went to sleep. Wind it again, you’ll remember.
I beefed one,
they hired me for dancing, then I beefed one
it was oh, [Cut to everybody] so very long and not a brief one
because I beefed one
Now this whole fancy party knows my name
Cecily Strong: Wait I do know this.[Cut to Cecily Strong and Storekeeper]
Cecily Strong and Storekeeper: I gave them quite a scare
when I jumped up in the air
and out a fruity rooty came
Storekeeper: I knew you knew it.[Cut to everybody]
Kyle Mooney: I’m sorry if you’re eating
but my tights just took a beating
Everybody: And now I fear I’ll never dance again[Cut to Kenan Thompson]
Kenan Thompson: I farted.[Cut to everybody]
Kenan Thompson: I was just passing by and heard ‘Fancy party”.
Everybody: Did you hear the news how I done farted?
Now the party has sadly been departed
because I farted
That’s just how it goes.
Kyle Mooney: Wow.
Cecily Strong: That’s good.
Kyle Mooney: I’m glad you didn’t sing, honey. You would have messed it up.
Emily: Sing it again.
Cecily Strong: Let’s do it.[Cecily Strong breaks the music box trying to wind it]
oh! No! Did I break it?
Storekeeper: What have you done?
Kyle Mooney: Honey, what have you done?
Cecily Strong: It wasn’t one of a kind, was it? Surely there are more.[Everybody are staring at Cecily Strong]
Please, please.[Cut to Kenan coming up front to camera]
Kenan Thompson: And that’s The Twilight Zone.