PottyPM

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Man… Kyle Mooney

Woman… Jennifer Lopez

[Starts with a man trying to sleep at night]

Man: Do you ever find yourself in this situation? It’s the middle of the night and you’ve to go to the bathroom. But it’s so cold. You’ré tired. And the toilet seems just too far away. Are you going to try hold in it for the rest of the night?

[The man is looking at the toilet and nodding]

Well, you don’t have to anymore.

[Cut to the man introducing the product]

Introducing, Potty PM. Now, you can do your business while staying nestled under your covers. And the only place you’ll be going is dreamland. Potty PM technology is so easy to use. Just clamp our patented discharge nozzle to your toilet seat. Walk the Potty PM hose back into the bedroom. Place your privates into the Potty PM feeder. Buckle up and tuck yourself in for a good night’s sleep. When it’s that time, all you have to do is let it flow. Potty PM, it’s that easy.

[A woman joins the man]

Woman: And how does it work for women?

Man: What’s that?

Woman: Is that also for women?

Man: Yeah.

Woman: Good, ‘cause we have to go in the middle of the night, too. So how does it work?

[Cut to the man]

Man: You put the tube inside of your—

Woman: Inside?

[Cut to the man and woman]

Man: Isn’t there like a flap so you could like—

Woman: Excuse me?

Man: Is it the— clitoris?

Woman: What?

Man: The clitoris?

Woman: No, urine comes out of the urethra. You have one, too.

Man: Oh, yes, now I remember. Yes, the Potty PM for women would work, like, you, like, tie it. And then—because butt has nothing to do with it, right? Wait, how many holes does the girl have again?

Woman: You know what?> Maybe Potty PM is just something for guys.

Man: That’s okay?

Woman: Yeah! It’s fine.

Man: Potty PM. It’s just for guys. And girls can sleep on the toilet.

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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