Aidy Bryant[Starts with intro of SNL monologue]
Narrator: Ladies and gentlemen, Rachel Brosnahan.[Rachel walks in the door to the stage] [Cut to Rachel]
Rachel Brosnahan: Thank you, thank you very much. You guys, I am so excited to be here. You may know me as “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” on the TV show called “West World”. But if you haven’t seen “Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”, it’s available on Amazon. Customers who like this bought a meat thermometer and D batteries. You guys, being here is insane. I am so thrilled to be hosting the first “Saturday Night Live” of the new year. [Cheers and applause] We can all agree that last year was not easy, but I for one am looking forward to having fun in 2019.[Cecily Strong joins Rachel on the stage]
Cecily Strong: Yeah, this year is going to be great. I can feel it.
Rachel Brosnahan: Thanks Cecily. Happy new year.
Cecily Strong: Hey, Rachel. Same to you. Did you make a New Year’s resolution?
Rachel Brosnahan: Actually mine was to host SNL. I’m doing pretty well. What was your’s?
Cecily Strong: To find the killer [Cut to Cecily acting serious] and this year, I will.[Cut to Cecily and Rachel]
Rachel Brosnahan: What?
Cecily Strong: Oh, don’t worry about it. We’re having fun this year.[They start singing and dancing]
Everybody: ♪Let’s have fun in 2019
let’s have fun
out here living the dream
Let’s have fun only smiles no frowns
Let’s have fun 2018 is shut down.♪
Rachel Brosnahan: Shut down.
Cecily Strong: Oh, the government shutdown.
Rachel Brosnahan: And thousands of government employees are not being paid.
Cecily Strong: Neither are we.
Rachel Brosnahan: What?
Cecily Strong: Yes. Lauren told me I wasn’t getting paid this week.
Rachel Brosnahan: Maybe you should call your agent.
Cecily Strong: My who?[Kenan Thompson joins Rachel and Cecily on the stage]
Kenan Thompson: What’s up? Happy new year! What we doing?
Rachel Brosnahan: What does it look like? We are having fun!
Cecily Strong: Yeah. So much fun.
Kenan Thompson: Okay. Because I heard a lot of concerned whispering.
Cecily Strong: Nope, not from us.[They start singing and dancing]
Everybody: ♪Let’s have fun a brand new year
let’s have fun it’s a party in here♪
♪Let’s have fun and tonight we’re going to play
we’ll have fun like the ain’t no school today.
Cecily Strong: Oh, my god, the teacher’s strike.
Rachel Brosnahan: Yeah, what is going on with that?
Kenan Thompson: You know what? Teachers don’t get paid enough. Class sizes are too big.
Rachel Brosnahan: Is anything functioning? I mean, you guys,
Cecily Strong: Brexit. Oh, yeah. Is Europe like over?
Kenan Thompson: You know, I never got to go. And now it’s like closed, I guess.[Kyle Moony joins Rachel, Cecily and Kenan on the stage]
Kyle Mooney: What up squad? What are you guys talking about?
Rachel Brosnahan: Hey, Kyle.
Kyle Mooney: Rachel.
Rachel Brosnahan: Can you go back out, and bring out someone who can sing?
Kyle Mooney: Sure, [Kyle tries singing the line] Even though I actually can sing. Hey Aidy.[Kyle leaves the stage] [Aidy joins Rachel, Cecily and Kenan on the stage]
Aidy Bryant: Hey, what’s up my dude? I hear you’re having some fun.
Rachel Brosnahan: Yeah, you know it.[They start singing and dancing]
Everybody: ♪Let’s have fun I’m giving out free hugs.
Let’s have fun and dancing to my new drug
Cecily Strong: Oh my, speaking of new drugs, have you heard of Krokodil?
Aidy Bryant: Oh yeah, Krokodil. That’s the Russian prison drug.
Kenan Thompson: Do not google it.
Cecily Strong: Oh, I just did it.
Rachel Brosnahan: I want to see. No! What is that?
Kenan Thompson: You melt.
Rachel Brosnahan: Is that bone?
Cecily Strong: Yeah. that’s bone.
Aidy Bryant: Okay, we got to move. The breaks on the Krokodil. We have to stop focusing on this bad stuff. It’s making us crazy.
Rachel Brosnahan: You’re right, the world is full of great things. We have to remember that.[They start singing and dancing]
Everybody: ♪Babies with glasses and free ice cream
cancelling plans and when dogs have dreams
Cecily Strong: And Krokodil
Aidy Bryant: No.
Cecily Strong: Just to try it.[They start singing and dancing]
Everybody: ♪Let’s have fun
Rachel Brosnahan: This is going to be a great new year and a great show. Guys, Greata Van Fleet is here. Stick around cause we will be right back.