The Impossible Hulk | Season 44 Episode 15

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Dr. Bruce Banner… Idris Elba

Melissa Villaseñor

Security… Kenan Thompson

Impossible Hulk… Cecily Strong

Policeman… Mikey Day

[Starts with Dr. Bruce Banner in a shop. He finds a shirt at 50% off.]

Melissa Villaseñor: And your total was $208.45.

Dr. Bruce Banner: Sorry, did you say 208?

[Cut to Melissa Villaseñor]

Melissa Villaseñor: And 45 cents, yes.

[Cut to Dr. Bruce Banner]

Dr. Bruce Banner: The sign said it was half off.

[Cut to Melissa Villaseñor]

Melissa Villaseñor: Not this shirt. Just the stuff in that section.

[Cut to Dr. Bruce Banner]

Dr. Bruce Banner: Oh, it was in that section.

Melissa Villaseñor: Oh, then that was a mistake. [Cut to Melissa Villaseñor] Somebody must have moved it.

Dr. Bruce Banner: Well, [Cut to Dr. Bruce Banner] I guess I’ll just get my money back.

Melissa Villaseñor: I’m sorry sir, we only offer [Cut to Melissa Villaseñor] store credit. It’s store policy.

[Cut to Dr. Bruce Banner]

Dr. Bruce Banner: Oh, come on. That’s [Bleep].

[Cut to Melissa Villaseñor]

Melissa Villaseñor: Sir, I’m going to ask you to calm down and lower your voice.

[Cut to Dr. Bruce Banner]

Dr. Bruce Banner: Lower my voice. You’re trying to rip me off and I’m getting upset.

[Cut to Melissa Villaseñor]

Melissa Villaseñor: Okay, security.

[Cut to Dr. Bruce Banner]

Dr. Bruce Banner: And you won’t like me when I’m upset.

[Cut to Security walks in]

Security: What’s the problem here? [Dr. Bruce Banner starts shivering] What the hell?

Impossible Hulk: Let go of me.

Security: Ain’t nobody even toughing you.

Impossible Hulk: I want my money back right now.

Narrator: While working at his lab located above a Torrey Birch, Dr. Bruce Banner was hit with gamma radiation in a failed experiment causing him to transform into an embolded white lady whenever he is provoked. He is the Impossible Hulk.

[Cut to Melissa Villaseñor]

Melissa Villaseñor: I told you sir, the store policy is–

[Cut to Impossible Hulk]

Impossible Hulk: No, you’re being aggressive. I’m calling the police.

[Cut to Security]

Security: For what?

[Cut to Impossible Hulk]

911: 911, what’s your emergency.

Impossible Hulk: Yes, hello, yes. I’d like to report an active aggression.

[Cut to Security and Impossible Hulk]

Security: We are literally just standing here.

[Cut to Impossible Hulk]

Impossible Hulk: Now they are crowding me, I can’t breathe.

[Cut to Melissa Villaseñor]

Melissa Villaseñor: Sir, just take your money back. It’s fine.

[Cut to Impossible Hulk]

Impossible Hulk: No, do not rest me; do not try to silence me.

[Cut to Security]

Security: Oh, man. This dude is impossible.

[Cut to Impossible Hulk, she struggles and turns back to Dr. Bruce Banner.]

Dr. Bruce Banner: What just happened?

[Cut to Dr. Bruce Banner walking in a hallway and then knocks on a door]

Ego Nwodim: What?

[Cut to Dr. Bruce Banner]

Dr. Bruce Banner: Can you please turn the music down? I’m trying to sleep.

[Cut to Ego Nwodim]

Ego Nwodim: You are forever complaining. Why don’t you just move?

Dr. Bruce Banner: Look, I don’t want to argue. [Cut to Dr. Bruce Banner] I’m asking you to turn the music down or else.

[Cut to Ego Nwodim. Chris Redd joins Ego Nwodim.]

Chris Redd: Or else what couz?

[Cut to Dr. Bruce Banner]

Dr. Bruce Banner: Or else I’m going to get upset.

[Cut to Chris Redd and Ego Nwodim.]

Chris Redd: Get upset then. What’s up?

[Cut to Dr. Bruce Banner shivering. He turns into the Impossible Hulk.]

Impossible Hulk: Let go of my arm.

[Cut to Chris Redd and Ego Nwodim.]

Chris Redd: Ain’t nobody touching your arm.

[Cut to Impossible Hulk]

Impossible Hulk: What’s your name? And everybody’s name in there.

[Cut to Ego Nwodim]

Ego Nwodim: Okay, dude. Calm down.

[Cut to Impossible Hulk]

Impossible Hulk: I need your manager now.

[Cut to Chris Redd]

Chris Redd: This is an apartment.

Ego Nwodim: Calm down.

[Cut to Impossible Hulk]

Impossible Hulk: You will not get away with this.

911: 911, what’s your emergency?

Impossible Hulk: Yes, I’m being aggressed right now.

[Cut to Chris Redd and Ego Nwodim]

Chris Redd: Aggressed? What is that?

[Cut to Impossible Hulk]

Impossible Hulk: I’m shaking and I’m in a lot of fear.

Ego Nwodim: Mr. Banner, [Cut to Ego Nwodim] we’ll turn the music down for real. It’s not a problem.

[Cut to Impossible Hulk]

Impossible Hulk: Keep laughing. Keep laughing. You’re going to be in a lot—[She struggles and then turns back into Dr. Bruce Banner]

Chris Redd: Hey, you okay, bro?

Dr. Bruce Banner: I’m fine, I think I need a froyo.

Chris Redd: A froyo?

Narrator: Next time on the Impossible Hulk—

[Dr. Bruce Banner gets pulled over by a police]

Dr. Bruce Banner: Damn it!

Policeman: Yo, yo, yo, my man. Do you know why I’m stopping you?

Impossible Hulk: Because you’re an aggressive [Bleep] I’m filming you.

Policeman: FP drive safe.

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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