The War in Words William and Lydia

William Macintosh … Mikey Day

Lydia … Phoebe Waller-Bridge

[Starts with History Channel show schedule]

Announcer: You’re watching the History Channel. Coming up at eight, “Hell On Wheels; Hitler’s Secret Super Car.” But now, it’s “The War In Words: Letters From the Front.”

[Cut to pictures of fighter pilot and his wife]

Narrator: The letters of English fighter pilot William Macintosh of the royal air force to his wife, Lydia.

[Cut to William Macintosh writing a letter]

William Macintosh: My dearest Lydia, ever since we crossed the channel to France, I have seen nothing but death and destruction. [Cut to Lydia reading the letter] Yet in this darkness, you provide light. [Cut to William Macintosh] Though I may be in hell, you are my perfect angel. Your husband, William.

[Cut to Lydia writing a letter]

Lydia: Dear William, thank you. Love, Lydia.

[Cut to William Macintosh]

William Macintosh: My dear wife, you’re welcome. In future letters though, if ever at a loss for words, please find some. For your words remind me of the home I miss so dearly. How I long to see you and our son. I even miss that rambunctious dog of ours. Yours, William.

[Cut to Lydia writing a letter]

Lydia: Dear William, I miss our dog, too. Love, Lydia.

[Cut to William Macintosh]

William Macintosh: My dear Lydia. Why do you miss our dog? Is he not with you at home? Please send word that he’s okay. And also send some token of your affection so that I may be reminded of you and our son. Always, yours, William.

[Cut to Lydia]

Lydia: Dear William, I am enclosing a lock of my hair. Hold it close and be safe. Love, Lydia.

[Cut to William Macintosh]

William Macintosh: Lydia, dearest, Perhaps you have been too generous with your gift of hair. You have sent me a vast amount. Have you shorn your head completely bald? Concerned, William.

[Cut to Lydia with her uneven haircut]

Lydia: William, ha-ha, no. Love, Lydia. P.S., give our dog a rub on the belly for me.

[Cut to William Macintosh]

William Macintosh: Lydia, I do not have our dog. He’s clearly run off. As if the day could not get worse, my dear friend Christopher was killed on patrol. The young French woman who cared for him in his final moments told me he died honorably. A shame. Love, William.

[Cut to Lydia]

Lydia: William, so who’s this French bitch you’re talking to? Your wife, Lydia.

[Cut to William Macintosh]

William Macintosh: Lydia, my dear! There is no cause for jealousy. I only have eyes for you, love. My absence is clearly weighing on you. Perhaps a weekend away would raise your spirits. Devotedly, William.

[Cut to Lydia]

Lydia: William, I took your advice and went on a little trip. And would you believe there was a newsreel camera at my hotel. I’m sending a copy of the film. Enjoy the show. Your movie star wife, Lydia.

[Cut to William Macintosh]

William Macintosh: My god, Lydia! I cannot believe what I’ve just seen. You appear to be palling around with Adolf Hitler and his friends as if you were one of the gang. What led to this? I demand an explanation. Your horrified husband, William.

[Cut to Lydia]

Lydia: Dear William, Oh, I see. So when you talk to some French whore, it’s nothing, move on. But when I go to a party where there happens to be a man, it’s “I demand an explanation”.

[Cut to William Macintosh]

William Macintosh: Yes, because it’s Hitler!

[Cut to Lydia]

Lydia: I am only glad your father is not alive to see what a hypocrite you’ve become. Love, Lydia.

[Cut to William Macintosh]

William Macintosh: Darling Lydia, has my father passed away? This is the first time I’m hearing of this. How did he go? Also still rabidly curious about the Hitler of it all. Answer, please. William.

[Cut to Lydia]

Lydia: William, I think your father died of a broken heart. He just couldn’t bear on to go on without your mother. Love, Lydia.

[Cut to William Macintosh]

William Macintosh: My mother passed as well? Darling, I do not think we should write to each other anymore. But know that I love you and our son dearly. Give him a kiss for me and tell him to be brave lad. Love William.

[Cut to Lydia]

Lydia: William, tell him yourself. Love Lydia.

[Cut to William Macintosh with his son]

William Macintosh: Why would you send our 5 year old son to a war zone?

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