Darius Trump… Kenan Thompson
Levanka… Ego Nwodim
Darius Jr… Chris Redd
Malika… Leslie Jones
Police Officer… Alex Moffat[Starts with assistant walking looking at a file at the parking lot]
Assistant: Sir, your approval numbers have never been lower. But this state of the union might be our best chance of turning things around. Now, the big question is can you persuade people who never liked you in the first place?
Darius Trump: I wouldn’t worry about any of that. [Cut to Darius at the dark. His face cannot be seen.] All I need is a mic and an audience and I’m good to go. They all love [Darius walks a step ahead. He is black Donald Trump.] Darius Trump.[Cut to the intro of ‘Them Trump’]
Narrator: From the producers of Empire. It’s Them Trumps. The first show to ask the question, “What if Donald Trump was black?” Darius Trump. His wife, Malika. Darius Jr. and Lévanka. Together, they are Them Trumps.
Darius Jr.: Dad. [Cut to Darius Jr. and Levanka inside the limousine] You think the state of the union speech is going to set the hater’s straight?[Cut to Darius Trump and his assistant inside the limousine]
Darius Trump: Of course it is son. Now, come on, let’s get to the capitol so I can do what I do.[Cut to Darius Jr. and Levanka inside the limousine]
Levanka: But dad. What about about the new allegations? The taxpayer funded golf vacations with Puff Daddy, all the lawsuits that come out of Trump Perm Academy?[Cut to Darius Jr.]
Darius Jr.: And they still asked about Russia dad.[Cut to Darius Trump and his assistant]
Darius Trump: Shh! Don’t nobody need to know about Russia. What happened between me and Russia is between me and Russia. That don’t concern them.
Malika: Well, [Cut to Malika] you better watch yourself. They’re saying Mueller is closing in and your house of cards is crashing down.
Darius Trump: Why you trying to play me, huh? I know how to deal with Mueller. I keep the white boys on a leash. [Cut to Darius Jr. and Levanka smiling] This is America. And even though I’m black–[Cut to Darius Trump and his assistant]
Assistant: Okay, we are getting pulled over.
Darius Trump: Oh, I knew that was coming.[The video stops and plays credit list] [Cut to outro of ‘Them Trumps’]
Narrator: On the next Them Trumps—[Cut to Police Officer talking to Darius Trump from window of the limosine]
Police Officer: License please, sir.
Darius Trump: Man, I’m not even driving.
Police Officer: I’m not asking again. License, now.[Darius Trump hands his license to the police officer] [Cut to Darius Jr.]
Darius Jr.: Be cool, dad.
Malika: We don’t [Cut to Malika] need you getting locked up.[Cut to Darius Trump]
Darius Trump: Ain’t nobody getting locked up. This is ridiculous. I’m the American President and he’s going to have to recognize the fact that even though I’m a black man—
Police Officer: Sir, step out of the car.
Darius Trump: Yes, here we go. [Darius opens the door and steps out of the limousine] Somebody record it for Worldstar.[Video stops and plays credit list]