Theresa May… Kate McKinnon
Sara Bareilles
[Starts with video clips of reports from different news channels]Channel 1: Today should have been Brexit day. That’s what Theresa May has promised.
Channel 2: She came up short.
Channel 3: She’s made a terrible mess.
Channel 4: Theresa May.
Channel 5: Teresa May–
Channel 6: –is not exactly dealing with Winston Church.
Channel 7: She’s proved herself to be one of the most worst Prime Minis—
Sara Bareilles: [Singing] It’s not simple to say
That most days I don’t recognize me
That these shoes and this apron
That place and its patrons
Have taken more than I gave them
It’s not easy to know
I’m not anything like I used be, although it’s true
I was never attention’s sweet center
I still remember that girl
She’s imperfect, but she tries
She is good, but she lies
She is hard on herself
She is broken and won’t ask for help
She is messy, but she’s kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a really bad life
She is gone, but she used to be mine
It’s not what I asked for
Sometimes life just slips in through a back door
And carves out a person and makes you believe it’s all true
And now I’ve got you
And you’re not what I asked for
If I’m honest, I know I would give it all back
For a chance to start over and rewrite an ending or two
For the girl that I knew
Who’ll be reckless, just enough
Who’ll get hurt, but who learns how to toughen up
When she’s bruised and gets used by a man who can’t love
And then she’ll get stuck
And be scared of the life that’s inside her
Growing stronger each day ’til it finally reminds her
To fight just a little, to bring back the fire in her eyes
That’s been gone,
but used to be mine
Used to be mine
Theresa May: Mr. Corbin, Mr. Corbin, please, I think I know what to do.
Mr. Corbin: Madam Prime Minister. We’ve already agreed on a solution. Your solution.
Theresa May: What?
Mr. Corbin: You’ve solved Brexit. And you’ve saved Britain. [Everybody in the room cheers]
Sara Bareilles: She is messy, but she’s kind
She is lonely
Channel 8: Theresa May is simply not in control of this process.
Theresa May:Well, [Bleep] you. At least I’m trying.
Sara Bareilles: but she used to be mine