Brooke Baldwin… Cecily Strong
Arthur Wentzel… Beck Bennett
Brian… Mikey Day
Lieutenant… Adam Sandler
[Starts with CNN news intro]
Narrator: This is a CNN special report.
[Cut to Brooke Baldwin in her news set]
Brooke Baldwin: Chaos in Tripoli this afternoon as multiple militias fight for control of the city. [Arthur Wentzel joins Brooke] Brooke Baldwin joined by former CIA analyst Arthur Wentzel.
Arthur Wentzel: Hello.
Brooke Baldwin: All satellite and internet communications in the region have been cut off but we were able to connect with our reporter in Tripoli via phone. [Cut to split screen. Brooke and Arthur are on the left side, Brian is on the right side] Brian, can you hear me?
Brian: Yes, hello, I’m here at the Mirador hotel with other journalists taking refuge from the war zone outside. [Cut to Brian] I apologize about the picture quality. I’m using a social streaming app on my phone that is somehow able to get through. [Sound of a blast]
[Cut to Brooke and Arthur]
Brooke Baldwin: Brian, are you there?
Arthur Wentzel: Sounded like some sort of explosion.
Brooke Baldwin: Brian, are you okay? Y
[Cut to Brian streaming with a Snapchat filter]
Brian: Yes, I am okay. That was a mortar round. There is a lot of activity immediately outside of the hotel. Is everyone okay? I won’t lie. I’m very scared right now.
[Cut to Brooke and Arthur]
Brooke Baldwin: Brian, are you using Snapchat to connect with us?
[Cut to Brian streaming with another Snapchat filter]
Brian: I think so. Is there an issue with the video? I cannot see my screen. It was shattered as we fled our press convoy. Can you see me?
[Cut to split screen. Brooke and Arthur are on the left side, Brian is on the right side]
Arthur Wentzel: Yes, we can, and you look like, I want to say, Simon’s girlfriend from Alvin and the Chipmunks. It’s dumb, but I’m smiling.
[Cut to Brian streaming with another Snapchat filter]
Brian: Again, I’m sorry, I cannot see my screen. [Sound of breaking] Someone is trying to get into my room.
[Cut to Brooke and Arthur]
Brooke Baldwin: Brian, do you know who’s trying to get into your room?
Arthur Wentzel: And do you know if those filters free with the app or do you have to pay?
[Cut to Brian streaming with another Snapchat filter. Now, he is a birthday raccoon.]
Brian: Soldiers with guns have entered my room. I’m unarmed. I’m an American journalist. American!
[Cut to Brooke and Arthur]
Brooke Baldwin: Okay, we seem to have lost the feed. We hope Brian is okay. Arthur, now as an expert in this region, what do you make of what we just saw?
Arthur Wentzel: Well, I believe that was a meerkat but it could have been a lemur. Either way, that’s the best one I’ve seen.
Brooke Baldwin: I’m being told the feed is back. Brian?
[Cut to Brian with Lieutenant.]
Brian: Yes, hello, this is a lieutenant in the people’s militia. He has agreed to speak with us.
[Cut to Brooke and Arthur]
Brooke Baldwin: Lieutenant, what is your organization fighting for?
[Cut to Lieutenant with a rainbow filter.]
Lieutenant: Freedom! Wait, I can see on the TV I look silly.
[Cut to Brooke and Arthur]
Brooke Baldwin: Yes, and we apologize. But lieutenant, if you gained power, would you promise to hold open elections?
[Cut to Lieutenant with another filter]
Lieutenant: Oh, my god, look how weird I am. [laughing] Can you imagine if I looked like this? Ha-ha-ha! I look like old-timey doctor who comes to your house with a bag.
[Cut to Brooke and Arthur]
Arthur Wentzel: Ha-ha-ha. I was going to say Ellis Island Immigrant but I see what you mean by old-timey doctor.
Brooke Baldwin: This is serious.
Arthur Wentzel: But he looks funny.
Brooke Baldwin: Lieutenant, if I may ask, who is in charge of your Militia?
[Cut to Lieutenant with another filter]
Lieutenant: Wait, wait. Our leader is here right now. Would you like to speak to her?
[Cut to Brooke and Arthur]
Brooke Baldwin: Very much, yes, ma’am? Ma’am, are you there? Ma’am?
[Cut to Lieutenant with a girl filter]
Lieutenant: [In a woman’s voice] Hi, do you like my hair? Do you like my makeup?
[Cut to Brooke and Arthur]
Arthur Wentzel: Hubba hubba.
[Cut to Lieutenant with a rabbit filter]
Lieutenant: I must go. But to the world I say this. Blood will never stop flowing until our people are free. Ha-ha! Funny dance! [Sound of explosion]
[Cut to Brooke and Arthur]
Brooke Baldwin: Sounds like the fighting is close.
Arthur Wentzel: Yes, he’d better hop to it.
Brooke Baldwin: Brian, are you still there?
[Cut to Lieutenant with a hotdog filter]
Brian: Uh, yes. The fighting is in the hotel now. Soldiers are moving us to a new location. I’m unclear where I am going. Oh, my god, that’s a dead body. Kids, if you want to be a journalist, this is what it looks like. Brian Makins, live in Tripoli.
[Cut to Brooke and Arthur]
Brooke Baldwin: Stay safe, Brian. That was some brave reporting, plain and simple.
Arthur Wentzel: Not plain. He had mustard.
Brooke Baldwin: Go! Go! We’ll be right back. Out.
[Ends with CNN outro]
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