Michael Che
Ann McClain… Aidy Bryant
Christina … Melissa villaseñor
Nick… Beck Bennett
Colin Jost
[Starts with Michael Che in his set]Michael Che: Earlier this week two female astronauts on the International Space Station were set to make history with the first ever all-female space walk, but it was canceled by NASA because there was only one space suit that could fit a woman. Here to comment is the female astronaut who did not get to space walk, Ann McClain.
[Ann McClain joins Michael Che]Ann McClain: Hi there! Hello. Hi.
Michael Che: So this has got to be disappointing for you.
Ann McClain: [Sounding very upset] No. No, not at all. [Cut to Ann McClain] I’m practical. I get it. Only one woman suit, so Christina did the space walk with my colleague Nick and they swam in the stars and they know what it is to be god looking down on to earth and me inside the window and it’s all okay.
Michael Che: Well, from the way you’re talking, it sounds like you’re a little upset.
Ann McClain: Nope, nope.
Michael Che: Because it’s still a major accomplishment to go to space.
Ann McClain: Oh, totally, yes. [Cut to Ann McClain] I worked my whole life, flew 1,600 hours. You know, became helicopter pilot. Did 216 combat missions in the United States army and got two masters degrees in Aerospace Engineering. But then space shirt and pants were the wrong size. So unfortunately the dream gotta die.
[Cut to Michael and Ann]Michael Che: But you still got to go space. You just didn’t get to do the spacewalk.
Ann McClain: Yeah, I got to go to space. [Cut to Ann McClain] I got to do all of the chill stuff like being shot into the sky like a bullet on fire. And then once I got there, I got to eat all the stake dust. You konw, be wizzing in my tube. And you know, the business of space.
Michael Che: It’s okay to be a little mad. I think most people here who know that’s unfair.
Ann McClain: I’m not mad at all. I’m not mad. You know, they can make a special space suit for a dog or a special space suit for a monkey, but a human girl, only one get to be moon queen. And so, yeah, I’m actually happy as hell!
Michael Che: Happy as hell? Really?
[Cut to Ann McClain]Ann McClain: Yeah! Even got the happy tears. And the cool thing about crying in space, Michael, is that your tears keep floating around hours after you cry them.
[Cut to Michael and Ann]Michael Che: Well, this is actually exciting. We have the live feed from the space walk right now.
Ann McClain: Wow, and nobody told me that was going to happen. But excited.
Michael Che: Do we have them yet? [Cut to live video of Nick and Christina in space] Hey, guys, how is it going out there?
Christina: It’s amazing. Truly gorgeous to see that big, blue marvle. Really makes my multiple tours at Palmer station and Artica worth it.
Nick: And I’m Nick!
Ann McClain: I’m so happy for my friends!
Nick: This is my fifth space walk. It’s almost a chore at this point. Ha-ha-ha.
Ann McClain: And I do love hearing that! Wow, but to all of my little girls out there, I just want to say you can all become astronauts, just not at the same time.
[Cut to Michael and Ann]Michael Che: Ann McClain everybody.
Ann McClain: It’s good. She gone.
Michael Che: Wekend Update. I’m Michael Che.
[Colin Jost joins]Colin Jost : I’m Colin Jost. Goodnight.
