Weekend Update: Attorney Drops Harvey Weinstein | Season 44 Episode 10


Michael Che

Colin Jost

[Starts with Michael Che in his news set. There’s a picture of Harvey Weinstein at the right top corner of the screen]

Michael Che: It was reported that one of Harvey Weinstein’s lead attorneys is withdrawing from the case after he finally googled Harvey Weinstein.

[Cut to Colin Jost in his news set. There’s a picture of red moon at the left top corner of the screen]

Colin Jost: Sunday night will bring super blood wolf moon, which is rare lunar eclipse and not as I assumed, the name of the band [The picture changes to a band] that just performed on our show. [The picture changes to the Instagram famous egg] A picture of an egg has set a new record on Instagram as the most liked photo in history. Meanwhile, over on twitter, a picture of an egg just called me [Picture changes to a tweet that says ‘Colin Jost’s a jag-ass queef weasel] a jag-ass queef weasel.

[Cut to Michael. There’s a picture of written Gillette at the right top corner of the screen]

Michael Che: Gillette has released a new ad that addresses the issues of toxic masculinity which is great. I mean, [Picture changes to Colin Jost] Colin disagrees, but I love [Picture changes to a picture of written Gillette] when a company takes a firm social stance that literally nobody asked for. Like I remember one time [Picture changes to a tweet of flesh light] flesh light tweeted never forget on 9/11. And I was like, “Never forgot? When am I supposed to use this flesh light?”

[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of TV show ‘Made in Staten Island at the left top corner of the screen]

Colin Jost: Italian American groups are accusing MTV show Made in Staten Island of promoting negative stereotypes. These claims were denied by the show’s executive producer, [Picture changes to a chicken parmesan wearing a vest] a Chicken Parm in a wife beater. Yesterday was [Picture changes to Winnie the Pooh] Winnie the Pooh day. That’s a tough transition. Yesterday was Winnie the Pooh day. This according to a man on the subway explaining why he was wearing a red shirt and no pants. [Picture changes to a watch] A woman was arrested in Florida after she stole four watches and hid them inside her vagina. Officials became suspicious when the woman took a licking and kept on ticking.

[Cut to Michael. There’s a picture of lorry at the right top corner of the screen]

Michael Che: You thought we wouldn’t have a woman’s joke. A highway in Arizona was shut down after a tractor-trailer rolled over spilling 40,000 gallons of liquid chocolate on the road. For reference, [Picture changes to Shaquille O’Neal] here’s what 40,000 gallons of liquid chocolate looks like.

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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