Weekend Update: Disney’s New Streaming Service – SNL


Colin Jost

Michael Che

[Starts with Colin Jost in his news set. There’s a picture of Disney+ on left top corner]

Colin Jost: Disney announced that in November it will launch its new streaming service called Disne+ as in you now have to get Disney + Hulu + Netflix + Amazon + a Play Station + cable. Even though at the end, you’ll say there’s nothing good on, let’s just watch Law and Order.

[Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of Kim Kardashian on right top corner]

Michael Che: Kim Kardashian revealed that she plans to take the bar exam and become a lawyer in three years. I think she can do it. I mean it only took Kanye a couple years to [Picture changes to Kanye wearing Trump hat] go to space. [Picture changes to Canada flag] A man in Canada is searching for the owner of a car he stole more than 20 years ago so that he can apologize and also return his son. It’s not real, guys.

[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of map pinned to Moscow on left top corner]

Colin Jost: A new study lists the best city in the US to raise a family as Moscow, Idaho while the worst is once again Handsy Uncle Maryland.

Michael Che: I know that place. [laughs]

Colin Jost: [The picture changes to an old movie Grease] Paramount has begun developing a new movie called summer nights, which will be a prequel to the classic movie Grease. A prequel that will finally explain why everyone in that high school was in their late 30s.

[Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of a dolphin on right top corner]

Michael Che: In a recent study, scientists created 3D scans of Dolphin vaginas and found that a Dolphin’s clitoris is remarkably similar to a human woman’s. Said the night janitor at Sea World. Well, I could have told you that.

[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of sliced meat on left top corner]

Colin Jost: A new study has found that one way to reduce greenhouse gas emissions caused by meat products is adopting a nose to tail diet of eating every part of the animal. Get ready for the all new McHoof. [Picture changes to McDonald’s burger having full animal leg]

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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