Riley Jensen… Melissa Villaseñor
Riley’s Mom… Heidi Gardner
Michael Che[Starts with Michael Che in his news set.]
Michael Che: A plane sent to space by the air force returned to earth. Here to talk about it is kid genius Riley Jensen.[Riley Jenson comes in]
Riley’s Mom: Mama is going to be right over here.
Riley Jensen: Thanks, mom. Hi, everybody. Mr. Che, thanks for having me. [laughing]
Michael Che: Thanks for being here, Riley. What’s it like to be a kid genius?[Cut to Riley Jensen]
Riley Jensen: Just like a regular kid, only sometimes I go on TV.[Cut to Michael Che and Riley Jensen]
Michael Che: All right. Well, I hear you really know your stuff, so what can you tell me about this space plane?
Riley Jensen: What can’t I tell you? [Cut to Riley Jensen] The X37-B spacecraft measures 29 by 9.5 feet with a wing span of 15 feet.
Michael Che: Wow, that’s pretty big.
Riley Jensen: You bet. And Michael, you know what’s really cool? [Cut to Riley Jensen] The X37-B is one of the first unmanned spacecraft to land horizontal on a runway.[Cut to Michael Che and Riley Jensen]
Michael Che: Whoa, cool. How does it do that?[Cut to Riley Jensen. She doesn’t know the answer.]
Riley Jensen: Umm, what?[Cut to Michael Che and Riley Jensen]
Michael Che: You said it lands horizontal. How does that do?[Cut to Riley Jensen. She doesn’t know the answer.]
Riley Jensen: Uh, I—Uh—I don’t know.
Michael Che: That’s okay. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.
Riley Jensen: No, it’s okay. [Cut to Riley Jensen.] Sometimes even geniuses make mistakes.[Riley’s mom comes in.]
Riley’s Mom: You’re blowing it.
Riley Jensen: This guy’s throwing me curve balls, mom.
Riley’s Mom: Baby, these are softballs and you’re whiffing hard. Okay, you know what? That’s it, we’re canceling “Ellen”.
Riley Jensen: No, no, don’t. If you can’t handle Che, Ellen’s going to eat you alive.
Michael Che: Is everything okay, Riley?
Riley Jensen: I’m great. That was my mom. She’s so funny.
Michael Che: Okay, well this is impressive. I hear you know the names of every planet in the galaxy.
Riley Jensen: Yep. All eight.
Michael Che: Well, eight would be our solar system. The galaxy has billions, right?[Cut to Riley Jensen]
Riley Jensen: Oh, right, I knew that.
Riley’s Mom: You’re bombing.
Riley Jensen: This guy is going off script, mom?
Riley’s Mom: Baby, you look like a normal kid, I want you to know that.[Cut to Michael Che, Riley Jensen and her mom.]
Michael Che: Alright, I was given some flash cards to quiz you. But I think we should maybe just wrap up this.
Riley’s Mom: No, no. We’re doing the flash cards.
Riley Jensen: Yeah, bring it on. I can do it.
Riley’s Mom: Come on, baby, make mama love you. Come on.
Michael Che: Oh, no! Okay. Riley, what planet is this?[Michael Che has a picture of earth]
Riley Jensen: Easy, Saturn.
Michael Che: It’s actually earth.
Riley’s Mom: Damn it, get it together.
Riley Jensen: Hit me again, Che!
Michael Che: Okay. Well, how about this one?[Michael Che has a picture of Saturn]
Riley Jensen: Moon?
Riley’s Mom: No, baby, come on, that’s it. You know what? You’re going to live with your dad.
Riley Jensen: No, he smokes!
Michael Che: Riley Jensen, everybody. I’m so sorry.
Riley Jensen: I’m not smart, I’m just polite.