Weekend Update: Nico Slobkin and Brie Bacardi | Season 44 Episode 12

Michael Che

Nico Slobkin… Mikey Day

Bri Bacardi… Heidi Gardner

[Starts with Michael Che in his news set]

Michael Che: Valentine’s day is next week. Here with some romantic date ideas are Instagram couple Nico Slobkin and Bri Bacardi.

[Nico and Bri join Michael Che]

Bri Bacardi: Hi Michael.

Nico Slobkin: What’s up Che? How you doing?

Michael Che: Yeah. So you guys run a joint Instagram account for your relationship?

Bri Bacardi: Yeah. You can find us [Cut to Nico and Bri] on Instagram @OnceUponASnuggle, where we post pics of our love, like this one. [Cut to an Instagram picture of Nico and Bri on a couch] We captioned it, ‘I hope this is how we die, #inlove #alivenow.

[Cut to Michael, Nico and Bri]

Nico Slobkin: Oh yeah.

Michael Che: That’s great. So what date ideas do you have for our viewers?

[Cut to Nico and Bri]

Nico Slobkin: Well, first –

Bri Bacardi: so for–

Nico Slobkin: Oh, I’m sorry.

Bri Bacardi: Are you going to talk first?

Nico Slobkin: I thought I was, but you can, babe.

Bri Bacardi: Oh, no, I’m fine.

Nico Slobkin: Okay, are you mad? [Bri just shakes her head slightly] Baby, please do not do this. Do not be mad right now.

Bri Bacardi: I’m not mad.

Nico Slobkin: Please do not be mad right now.

Bri Bacardi: I’m not mad. I’m not doing anything. Go!

Nico Slobkin: Okay. So on V-day, we recommend you re-visit the spot where you had your first date. Which for us was Buca Di Peppo. And we ordered remember babe? Spaghetti and mead –

Bri Bacardi: Fries? I don’t know. [Bri looks away]

Nico Slobkin: Okay. Mead-fries? Baby, why are you mad?

Bri Bacardi: I am not mad!

Nico Slobkin: Why are you mad?

Bri Bacardi: I am not mad. You’re the one who is trying to look cool in front of your news boys.

[Cut to Michael, Nico and Bri]

Michael Che: We’re not his news boys.

Nico Slobkin: Can you just not be mad right now? Okay? I’m on SNL. I just saw Halsey in the hallway.

[Cut to Nico and Bri]

Bri Bacardi: All right, be with Halsey. [Bri stands and tries to walk away. Nico holds her.]

Nico Slobkin: I don’t want to be with Halsey!

Bri Bacardi: Okay!

Nico Slobkin: Why do you do this?

[Bri sits and continues to argue]

Bri Bacardi: Then prove it, okay? Win me back.

Nico Slobkin: How do I do that?

Bri Bacardi: I don’t know. Be spontaneous. Make me laugh.

Nico Slobkin: Make you– ? I don’t know. [Scottish accent] Hey, donkey!

[Bri starts laughing]

Bri Bacardi: Ha-ha, he did Shrek! Oh my god, he did Shrek. Ha-ha-ha.

[Cut to Michael, Nico and Bri]

Michael Che: How long have you guys been together?

Bri Bacardi: We got together in first grade.

Michael Che: Maybe you should consider taking a break?

Nico Slobkin: Never! When you know, you know, you know?

Michael Che: So you revisit your first date spot.

Nico Slobkin: Yes.

Bri Bacardi: Yes. Can I talk now?

[Cut to Nico and Bri]

Nico Slobkin: Oh, my god, you’re being crazy.

Bri Bacardi: Oh my god!

Nico Slobkin: You’re still mad.

Bri Bacardi: Oh my god! Okay, will you not call me crazy because I’m not crazy.

Nico Slobkin: You can be quiet right now. Shh. Oh, my god, whatever! This sucks. Just go.

Bri Bacardi: I am not crazy. I am not crazy.

Nico Slobkin: Just go! Just go!

Bri Bacardi: Okay, okay. And real mature, you are in your hat hole.

Nico Slobkin: I’m just sitting here and you attack me.

Bri Bacardi: I am not attacking you. I am not crazy.

Nico Slobkin: Oh go on.

Bri Bacardi: I am sorry that I’m not Halsey.

Nico Slobkin: Oh my god, I’m sorry I’m not Ryan. She slept with my friend Ryan. She slept with my friend Ryan. She slept with my friend Ryan. She slept with my friend on my birthday.

Bri Bacardi: I was buzzed!

Nico Slobkin: Yep.

Bri Bacardi: I was buzzed. I was buzzed.

Nico Slobkin: I cannot do this.

Bri Bacardi: Oh my god, you can’t do this? Are you breaking up with me?

Nico Slobkin: I don’t know because it’s weird. I don’t know.

Bri Bacardi: Are you breaking up– okay, okay. I can fix this. I can fix this. [singing] You are my fire, my one desire. Believe when I say, that I love you Nico.

Nico Slobkin: You’re so talented, I love you, baby.

[Cut to Michael, Nico and Bri]

Michael Che: Nico and Bri, everybody.

Bri Bacardi: Love wins!

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