Weekend Update Pete Davidson & John Mulaney Review Clint Eastwood’s The Mule | Season 44 Episode 10

Colin Jost

Michael Che

Pete Davidson

John Mulaney

[Starts with Colin Jost in his news set]

Colin Jost: We are so happy to have this next guy back. Here to talk about a very important experience he had over the holidays is Pete Davidson. Hi, Pete. How are you Pete?

[Pete Davidson comes in]

Pete Davidson: I’m great. As you know, I had a really crazy month and [Cut to Pete Davidson] I want to talk about something that matters a lot to me.

[Cut to Colin and Pete]

Colin Jost: Mental health?

Pete Davidson: No. The new Clint Eastwood movie, The Mule.

[Cut to Pete Davidson]

Colin Jost: You want to talk about The Mule?

Pete Davidson: Colin, yo! It’s unbelievable. Have you guys not seen it?

[Cut to Pete, Colin and Michael]

Colin Jost: No.

Michael Che: No.

Pete Davidson: Morons. Listen, so I’m glad[Cut to Pete Davidson]  I brought someone who saw The Mule with me. It means a lot to us. Comedian and Mule appreciator, John Mulaney.

[John Mulaney comes in]

John Mulaney: Michael. Colin. Hi. So, you guys are talking about The Mule?

[Cut to John, Pete and Colin]

Colin Jost: Um, no, basically never, no. I didn’t actually realize you guys hung out together.

John Mulaney: No, we do, but a lot of times [Cut to John and Pete] it looks like I’m Pete’s lawyer.

Pete Davidson: People usually think he’s like an NBA coach and I’m the controversial rookie.

John Mulaney: But, I have been spending time with Pete to try to show him you can have a life in comedy that is not insane. A sober domestic life.

Pete Davidson: Yeah. And after observing John’s life, I publicly threatened suicide. [Pete laughs] I’m sorry. I shouldn’t make that joke. It is funny though.

John Mulaney: Look me in the eye. You are loved by many.

Pete Davidson: Thank you, John. [Pete laughs]

John Mulaney: We are glad you are okay.

Pete Davidson: Okay.

John Mulaney: Now, back to The Mule.

Pete Davidson: Seriously, yeah.

John Mulaney: We went to see The Mule on opening day.

Pete Davidson: We didn’t go in with any expectations.

John Mulaney: This movie was, I dare say, the greatest–

Pete Davidson: Weirdest.

John Mulaney: Most bananas movie ever made.

Pete Davidson: About a 90 year old drug mule.

John Mulaney: You remember when Clint Eastwood berated an empty chair at the republican national convention?

Pete Davidson: It’s like if that was a movie.

John Mulaney: So, in The Mule–

Pete Davidson: The Mule–

John Mulaney: The Mule, Clint stars as a wildly popular botanist.

Pete Davidson: Flower man.

John Mulaney: Who after falling on hard times is hired as a drug mule.

Pete Davidson: At age 90–

John Mulaney: — 90, by a Mexican drug cartel–

Pete Davidson: –run by Andy Garcia.

John Mulaney: He was rude to me at a Lakers game once.

Pete Davidson: I remember that. When we say he is a mule, he drives drugs across state lines. I was hoping I would see him shove drugs up his ass which is what real drug users did.

John Mulaney: And what Pete did on the way to Denver.

Pete Davidson: Yes, because I forgot it was legal.

John Mulaney: I was proud of you for using a condom for once.

Pete Davidson: Yes. Anyway, plowing through, as they say. Clint Eastwood drives hundreds of kilos of drugs across the United States.

John Mulaney: That’s not the weird part.

Pete Davidson: The weird part is that he is 90 and he is driving.

John Mulaney: He is 90. When my grandma turned 90, we bribed the DMV to flunk her on her driving test and they did it.

Pete Davidson: [Pete freaking out] Why aren’t you guys freaking out? He’s old. There’s a scene where he’s driving with no hands and unwrapping an ice-cream sandwich and singing jazz and stuff. It’s insane.

John Mulaney: That’s when we realized that this was a super hero movie for old people about a guy whose super power is that he can drive unsupervised.

Pete Davidson: Yeah. And he’s so good that the head of a drug cartel played And Garcia–

John Mulaney: who was rude at a Laker game once.

Pete Davidson: Yes. I remember that. It’s true. He throws the mule a party for being their best driver ever.

John Mulaney: Fulfilling another elderly grandpa fantasy that a 90 year old white man can do any job better than a Mexican even when the job is Mexican drug trafficking.

Pete Davidson: Oh. We also forgot to mention. 90 year old Clint Eastwood has two threesomes in this movie.

John Mulaney: And he directed it.

Pete Davidson: Two! Two! I don’t think you guys understand. I had one. I guess you probably have none. Right?

John Mulaney: You are correct, sir. But according to The Mule, I have a solid 54 years before that window closes. [Pete Davidson cannot handle his laughter. He leans back and laugh] So look out in 2072 for my wish fulfillment movie, The Mule-Aney. [Cut to cover picture of the movie The Mule-Aney, with John Mulaney’s face] [Cut to John and Pete. Pete is still laughing leaning back] In that movie, I am 90 and I have three ways and Andy Garcia will move his legs so I can get to my seat.

[Cut to John, Pete and Colin]

Colin Jost:  Pete and John Mulaney everyone.

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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