Colin Jost
Michael Che
[Starts with Colin Jost in his news set. There is a picture of National Spelling Bee logo at left top corner.]Colin Jost: A Script’s National Spelling Bee has announced the change to next year’s contest after this year’s Spelling Bee ended in 8 way tie. The new change? Knives!
[Cut to Michael Che. There is a picture of Harvey Weinstein at right top corner.]Michael Che: Harvey Weinstein has reached a $25 million settlement with the women accusing him of sexual misconduct. But in order to get the money. The women have to grab it out of his bathrobe pocket.
[Picture changes to Vanna White]For the first time in the history of “Wheel of fortune,” the game show was hosted by Vanna White. There were no survivors.
[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture IHOP building at left top corner.]Colin Jost: IHOP was opened a new casual version of the restaurant called flip’d. Who hasn’t walked into a regular IHOP and thought, “Well, this is way too formal.”
[Cut to Michael Che. There is a picture of Hallmark logo at right top corner.]Michael Che: The group 1 million moms boycotting the Hallmark Channel for airing a commercial featuring a same-sex couple getting married and kissing. Ladies, relax. If your kid is watching the Hallmark Channel, he already gay as hell.
[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of a news article.]Colin Jost: Thousands of what are being called “Penis fish” are washing up on shore of a California beach. Not only that, one kid said he found one in his mother’s night stand.
