Carrie Krum… Aidy Bryant[Starts with Michael Che in his news set]
Michael Che: Spring break is around the corner, which means families across the country are heading out on vacation. Here with her insider tips is seventh grade travel expert, Carrie Krum.[Cheers and applause] [Carrie Krum joins Michael Che]
Carrie Krum: My god.
Michael Che: Hi Carrie. So, how is your trip to New York?
Carrie Krum: I love it. I saw a cop on a horse yell at a bus.
Michael Che: Cool. So where should people head for spring break?[Cut to Carrie]
Carrie Krum: Oh well, spring break means fun, sun and music on the beach, so you got to head to Boise, Idaho. It checks every box. Grammy, my step grandpa, a.k.a Peepo. And their cat that’s so old it has an IV hanging from the chandelier. Not to mention their neighbor has a daughter who is my age. She put eyeshadow on me, Michael. [Cut to Carrie and Michael] And, Michael? [Carrie is excited] Michael?
Michael Che: Yes.
Carrie Krum: When the pizza guys saw me, he asked if we were having a party.
Michael Che: Okay, that sounds like what your family did in Boise. Any ideas for what other people can do?[Cut to Carrie]
Carrie Krum: Oh, well, yeah. An absolute must see is my Grammy’s Cul-De-Sac. It is primo roller blade country. But travelers, please, learn from my mistake and do not roller blade in gravel, okay? I fell and scraped my chin, and my brother said it looked like I had a blood goatee. And at the time, I was mad, but now I got to give it up for the blood goatee. [Cut to Carrie and Michael] It’s good.
Michael Che: Okay. Well, for spring break a lot of people like to go to the beach. Do you have any beach recommendations?
Carrie Krum: Yeah, I do. [Cut to Carrie] Oh, sure. Say Aloha to the beaches of western Pennsylvania. I’m talking lake Erie. Go ankle deep in this ice cold water that stinks. And, Michael, [Cut to Carrie and Michael] did you know that flies can be on the beach?
Michael Che: No, that’s – that’s cool.
Carrie Krum: Yeah, it is. [Cut to Carrie] And also, we had to stop in Pittsburgh on the way to see my dad’s side of the family. And my brother had to wear a yarmulke to dinner. And, Michael? [Cut to Carrie and Michael] Michael?
Michael Che: Yeah?
Carrie Krum: It looked like half of a bra. Oh god!
Michael Che: Well, at least it sounds like you have fun wherever you go.
Carrie Krum: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. But trips aren’t always easy. You know? [Cut to Carrie] One time in the car I told my family that I loved my mom more than my dad. And everyone got really quiet. But that’s life on the road, Michael.[Cut to Carrie and Michael]
Michael Che: It absolutely is.
Carrie Krum: Oh, and Michael? Michael?
Michael Che: Yeah?
Carrie Krum: Safety. [Carrie Krum farts]
Michael Che: Oh, no. Carrie Krum, everybody.
Carrie Krum: Sorry. Emma Stone gave me a bunch of corn dogs.
Michael Che: It’s okay. It’s okay.