5-hour empathy

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[Starts with Beck in his home speaking to camera]

Beck: All these protests and civil unrest. It’s clear that people are hurting. But how can I help when I don’t even understand what some people in this country go through everyday. I wish there were an easier way.

Male voice: Well, now there is. [There’s a small bottle in front of Beck] With new 5 Hour Empathy.

Beck: 5 Hour Empathy? What’s that?

Male voice: From the makers of 5 Hour Energy comes with brand new formula that provides 5 full hours of complete intimate understanding of years of systemic oppression and ever present racism.

Beck: Wow, all that in one little bottle?

Male voice: That’s right.

Beck: That’s great. [Beck looks at the bottle and puts it on the table]

Male voice: So, are you going to try it?

Beck: Try what? The stuff?

Male voice: Yes. The stuff I just told you about.

Beck: You know it. I mean, yes.

Male voice: Well, do you want to do that now? You did say you wanted to understand what was making people so upset.

Beck: I do. Did you say it lasts 5 hours?

Male voice: That’s right.

Beck: Oh, yes. I can’t. I–

Male voice: You’re not scared, are you?

Beck: Scared? No. Alright. [he opens the bottle and drinks all of it.] Oh, wow. I get it now. I need to do better.

Male voice: The cap is still on.

Beck: Come on, man. I’m not a racist. I already vote Biden. What more do you want?

[Wife walks in]

Wife: Honey, what’s wrong? Are too many NFL players kneeling again?

Beck: What? No. I wish more would. Look, here, she’ll take it.

Wife: Oh, no. I don’t need that because I’m a woman. That’s the same.

Male voice: She said what?

Beck: Hey, man. We get it. We’re good here. They fired uncle Ben. Everything’s fine. Now, get out of my house.

Male voice: Or what? You’re going to call the police?

Beck: Oh, you’re trying to– I’m not going to. Okay. Fine. I’ll take it.

Male voice: Great. Do it.

[he throws the bottle away and jumps out of the window]

Beck: I’m sorry.

Male voice: That makes sense.

Female voice: 5 Hour Empathy, throw when you just don’t get it.

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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