Adele Monologue



[Starts with SNL monologue intro] [Cut to SNL stage] [Band is playing music]

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Adele.

[Adele walks in and to the stage] [cheers and applause]

Adele: Thank you. Thank you very much. Good evening and welcome to Saturday Night Live. [cheers and applause] Hello, it’s me. And my god, I’m absolutely thrilled to finally be hosting this show. Not only do I genuinely love this show, but the show that brought my career here in America 12 very long years ago. You see, I was a musical guest back in 2008 when Sarah Palin came on with miss Tina Fey. So obviously, few million people tuned in to watch it and well, the rest is now history. Now, I don’t know anything about American politics. I mean, I’m British. And I don’t want to say too political. So, I’ll just say this. Sarah Palin, babes, thanks for everything, yeah. Now, I know there has been a lot of chatter about me just being the host. I’ve seen all of it. Like, “Why isn’t she the musical guest?” and stuff like that. There’s a couple of reasons. My album’s not finished. And I’m also too scared to do both. I’d rather just put on some wigs, and this is all mine by the way, have a glass of wine or six and just see what happens. Who knows? I know I look really, really different since you last saw me. But actually because of all the covid restrictions and the travel bans, I had to travel light and I bring only half of me. This is the half that I chose. [cheers and applause]

Listen, I’m nervous. You know what I’m like. I always get very nervous on live TV. But tonight specially so because I swear a lot. Like ‘a lot’ a lot. And because I’m British, I tend to skip right on all those medium ones and go straight to the worst ones. Last time I was told not to swear, specifically during a live broadcast, I was playing glass ton bury and this is what happened.

[Cut to video clips of Adele’s live show where she is swearing a lot]

Honestly, I don’t even notice that I’m doing it anymore. But to keep myself in check tonight, we’ve got a swear jar. So, let’s check in on that and see how I’m doing so far. Kenan darling, where we at?

[Cut to Kenan. There’s a huge container instead of a jar and it’s filled with dollar bills.]

Kenan: Um, getting pretty full, Adele. This is just from when you said ‘hi’ to me back stage.

Adele: Oh, wow. Alright. Sorry. Well, let’s make sure that all that goes to charity.

Kenan: Oh, Adele. What would we do without Adele?

Adele: [laughing] Before we really start the show, I want to say a genuine, sincere thank you to the frontline workers who are all here down here in the audience. They say that once you’ve been to New York, you keep a little piece of it in your heart forever. So, I give up to you and give up to yourselves as well. Thank you. Right. Whether you’re here in the studio or watching t home, we’re going to be together for an hour and half. So, I really, really hope that you get as much joy of this as we’ve had putting it together for you. We’ve got a great show. H.E.R. is here. Divine H.E.R. is here. So, stick around and we’ll be right back.

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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