Kate McKinnon
Adele
Joanne… Heidi Gardner
[Starts with with the intro]
Male voice: The following is a message from a tourism board of Africa.
[Cut to Blonde 1 and Blonde 2 walking on a beach.]
Blonde 1: Sun.
Blonde 2: Breeze.
Blonde 1: Ocean.
Blonde 2: Mountains and beautiful…
Both: … beautiful Africa.
Blonde 1: Witness the wonder. The escape, the story.
[a black man and a blonde woman walk behind them]
Blonde 2: The sandy beaches, the massive bamboo.
Blonde 1: The wildlife. The culture.
Blonde 2: The food. The night life.
Blonde 1: Tribesmen.
Blonde 2: And history and lush dangly foliage.
Blonde 1: Tribesmen.
[a black man and a blonde woman walk behind them]
Blonde 2: Leave ordinary behind.
Blonde 1: After my divorce, I yearned for a new beginning.
Blonde 2: And we’re better new in crystal waters and sandy beaches of Africa.
Blonde 1: The humpback whales. The tall, tall tribesmen. The bamboo.
[a black man and a blonde woman walk behind them]
Blonde 2: After my divorce, I took in the breathtaking views and delicious cuisine of Africa.
Blonde 1: So, what are you waiting for? Set sail for Africa.
Blonde 2: All of Africa.
Blonde 1: Zimbabwe, Kenya.
Blonde 2: Ghana, Tanzania.
Blonde 1: Tribesmen.
Blonde 2: The sky. The coconut water.
Blonde 1: You’re gonna want that coconut water.
Blonde 2: Last night, I saw the face of god.
Blonde 1: After my divorce, I moved to Mombasa and was taken in by the Masai tribe where I was ordained as a minister of joy.
Blonde 2: Me too.
[Blonde 3 walks in.]
Blonde 3: Me three. Hi. I’m Joanne.
Blonde 1: Oh, that’s our name too.
Blonde 3: Right on. I first moved to beautiful Africa after my divorce. I met a wonderful friend on a computer. He invited me to a lovely ocean waters of Gambia.
Blonde 1: Oh, Gambia. So much bamboo.
Blonde 2: Beaucoup bamboo.
[two black men carrying a blonde woman walk behind them]
Blonde 3: Once I got here, I knew I had to explore the rest of the magical, magical lands of Africa.
Blonde 2: Jungles. The mountains. The ranges.
Blonde 3: The rhythm. The drums. The pounding.
Blonde 1: The fanning yourself with a palm between rounds.
Blonde 2: I found such a deep, deep connection here.
Blonde 3: You can feel it in your stomach.
Blonde 1: Tell your travel agent you want to see Africa. All of it.
Blonde 3: From Angola to Jamaica.
Blonde 1: Not Egypt.
Blonde 2: Yes, very dry there. No bamboo.
Blonde 1: So leave the kids at home.
Blonde 2: Leave everything at home. Bring no one.
Blonde 3: Except yourself and some money and some men’s sneakers.
Blonde 1: And don’t tell anybody you’re going.
Blonde 2: To beautiful, beautiful Africa.
Blonde 1: Africa.
Blonde 3: Africa.
Blonde 1: You’re gonna want that coconut water.
Male voice: The number one destination for divorcées of a certain age. Africa. We’ll leave the light on for you.
