Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Britney Spears… Chloe Fineman
John Mulaney… Melissa Villasenor
[Starts with MasterClass intro]Male voice: MasterClass Quarantine Edition is back with even more classes from your favorite famous people. Classes like, Phoebe Waller-Bridge teaches journaling.
Chloe: Hello, you cheeky little birds. I don’t know why I said that. I’m Chloe. And since this started, I have won two Emmy’s. No, I haven’t. But I might.
[Break message reads “Meet your new instructor.”]I keep all sorts of journals. One for violent female rage. Oh, I agree. [showing a journal] And this one is full of my naughty little secrets. [trying to open it] It’s a bit sticky. Can’t open it.
[Break message reads “Get inside her mind.”]Even if you’re not writing anything, you can look up from your journal with a cheeky little grin and play mind games with your partner. Oh! I know.
You can find inspiration anywhere. Like, your twerty little neighbor.
[talking to neighbor] Oh, hello. [talking to the camera] She hates me. [reading her journal] Ha-ha-ha. I can’t believe I said that.It was a cheesy, drippy, slutty little tart of the pizza. I’m Chloe and this is my MasterClass. Fancy!
Male voice: And John Mulaney teaches suits.
[Cut to John Mulaney]Melissa: Okay, that will be all. Oh, hello there. I’m standup comedian John Mulaney. And this is my MasterClass on how to master [holds his tie] class.
[Break message reads “Meet your new instructor.”]This suit is ideal if the vibe you’re going for is precocious kids who is asking all the wrong questions at this funeral.
[Break message reads “You’ll never stop learning.”]You’re gonna have to decide whether you’re the type of person that’s gonna button up or button down. But I have to button up because I have no chest hair.
[Break message reads “Get the tricks of the trade.”]Don’t you even think about leaving your tie loose. Tuck that in. Don’t be a monster. Oh, you’re looking sharp, John. And now you’re ready to hang out in your house coz we have nowhere to go.
Go, apply for the job and tell me thanks when you get it.
Male voice: And of course, Britney Spears teaches something.
[Cut to Britney Spears in her home]Britney Spears: I’ve been in quarantine for five years now. And that’s okay because all my favorite stuff is here.
[Break message reads “Meet your new instructor.”] [singing] Oops, I burned my gym down. So now, I exercise outside. When I’m looking for a creative outlet, sometimes I’ll paint, sometimes I’ll post. And I’m skinny as a needle. My loneliness is literally saving me.The thing that helps me most in quarantine is being rich.
[Break message reads “We paid her too much for this.”]During this time of Corona disease, we have to stay safe. My prayer is with you. I’m Britney Spears and this is my Master School.
Male voice: MasterClass, Quarantine Edition.
