Mr. Brenner… John Mulaney
Tyler… Pete Davidson
Chris Redd[Starts with an office meeting]
Mr. Brenner: Alright, good meeting, gang. Before we go, does anyone have anything else the’d like to share? Maybe our newest intern, my nephew, Tyler.
Tyler: Nope. Nope. I’m good.
Mr. Brenner: Oh. Okay. Well, why don’t you not play dumb ass with me? See, my nephew Tyler here memed me again. And you all know it. He turned me into a meme. And I’ll be honest, I’m pissed again.
Chloe: I’m sure this is all a misunderstanding.
Mr. Brenner: Exhibit A. My perfectly dating handsome profile picture. [showing his picture on the screen] It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Just a normal adult man looking for a smart and funny adult woman. And what do I see posted by my sweet nephew in the company Slack? This. “Swipe right if you want bad sex.” You think this is funny? Look at me. You think this is funny? Women might see that and think it’s true and it’s not. I get great reviews. Thank you very much.
Chloe: I am so sorry, Mr. Brenner. I assure you no one thought this was funny.
Mr. Brenner: Oh, really? Because you all seemed to really love this one. “When you in a sex cult but you still a virgin.” Hey, listen up, peanut gallery, if I was in a sex cult and not having sex, I would leave. Trust me.[Chris and Tyler do the fistbump
Chris: Got his ass.
Mr. Brenner: Hey, look at me, you dunts. Everything about this, when you do this, it sucks for me. Look what popular meme account ‘purple drink possi’ posted. “Hello darling, you may whack me in the penis with a golf club.” Now, I don’t know why that’s in quotes. It’s definitely not something I’ve said. But look, this was tweeted out by actor and New York legend Michael Rapaport. “When she come over and she say, ‘Hi, my name is Chris Hansen’.” What an outrageous accusation? First off, the fellas go to the little kid’s house on that show, not vice-versa. And why would she be saying, “My name is–”
Chloe: We don’t have to get into logistics.
Tyler: Look, I’m really sorry, Uncle Ron. I’m getting paid to make memes now and I need to practice. It’s helping with my tuition.
Mr. Brenner: Oh, is this going to help you get through college, you Limp Bizkit? How about this one? “That feeling withn the priest put his fingers in your mouth during communion.” Look, what an awful image. I hate that. I hate it. Next.
Chris: Okay, that’s creative.
Mr. Brenner: It’s not creative. It’s not creative. You know what it is? Liable. But hey, I guess that’s what I get for thinking love was possible for a guy my age. I just wanted to find romance again. Is that such a crime?
Mr. Brenner: Then why does your profile say, “Only interested in 18-24 year olds?”
Chris: Say what?
Chloe: Excuse me?
Tyler: Oh, it does? That’s probably one of those default settings that–
Mr. Brenner: No. You wrote it out in text. “I mean it. If you 25+, don’t waste my time.” And why you tell them the website that you’re on, uncle Ron?
Mr. Brenner: No. Chicksinprison.com. Sugar daddies looking for inmates.
Chloe: I’m sorry. What?
Tyler: Okay. Please, in my defense, they’re much easy to control that way.
All: Mr. Brenner?
Chris: Oh, my god!