Maya Rudolph
Charlise… Adele
Beck Bennett
[Starts with Maya turning music on jukebox in a bar. She turns around and sees Charlise and gets stunned.]
Maya: Dang, Charlise, you look amazing in those jeans. And you smell great too. What’s your secret?
Charlise: Well, they’re my new Ass Anger Perfume Jeans, of course.
Maya: Perfume jeans? [Maya smells Charlise’s jeans] Umm, gorgeous. Can I get a pair?
[Charlise just closes her fist and uses her power. Now Maya has those jeans on as well.]
Sweet smell and booty. These jeans are from heaven above.
[cut to Beck singing]
Beck: [singing] She’s got an ass of an angel
they now just smells like one too
She’s got an ass of an angel
you can smell that it’s true
[cut back to Maya and Charlise]
Charlise: Ass Angel jeans are the only jeans that covers your secret little lady scents. Don’t worry girl, all I can smell is cinnamon sugar swirl.
Maya: He knows the booty looks like cake, but now it smells like one too.
Charlise: Blow off the candles and take a bite.
[Cut to Beck singing]
Beck: [singing] Perfumed aroma
and I’m talking back door
she’s got that ass of an angel
wanna smell it some more.
[Cut back to Maya and Charlise]
Charlise: Ass Angel Perfume Jeans are also made of lavender, rose and loads of awesome industrial chemicals.
Maya: That’s a whole lot of smell. I gotta sit down.
[Maya takes a set]
Charlise: Oh, no. Not on the furniture.
[Maya stands immediately]
Maya: What? Oh, wow, my butt bleached the seat.
Charlise: That’s the magic of the jeans of course.
Maya: Hey. I went to the bathroom earlier and it stung when I tinkled. Is that the jeans?
Charlise: Yah-hah. Do not wear these jeans if you have kidney or liver problems.
[Beck walks into the bar and meets Maya and Charlise.]
Beck: Smelling good, ladies.
[Beck touches Maya’s butt, and it burns him.]
Oh, that ass is hot.
Maya: And so is my front.
Beck: Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go sing.
[Cut to Beck, Maya and Charlise all singing]
Beck: [singing] She’s got the ass of an angel
Maya and Charlise: Ass of an anger
Beck: Do you smell my angel?
Maya and Charlise: Smell my angel
Beck: Do they wear jeans in heaven
that ass of my prayers
Female voice: Ass Angel jeans. Consult your doctor before purchasing.
