Ass Angel Jeans

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Maya Rudolph

Charlise… Adele

Beck Bennett

[Starts with Maya turning music on jukebox in a bar. She turns around and sees Charlise and gets stunned.]

Maya: Dang, Charlise, you look amazing in those jeans. And you smell great too. What’s your secret?

Charlise: Well, they’re my new Ass Anger Perfume Jeans, of course.

Maya: Perfume jeans? [Maya smells Charlise’s jeans] Umm, gorgeous. Can I get a pair?

[Charlise just closes her fist and uses her power. Now Maya has those jeans on as well.]

Sweet smell and booty. These jeans are from heaven above.

[cut to Beck singing]

Beck: [singing] She’s got an ass of an angel
they now just smells like one too
She’s got an ass of an angel
you can smell that it’s true

[cut back to Maya and Charlise]

Charlise: Ass Angel jeans are the only jeans that covers your secret little lady scents. Don’t worry girl, all I can smell is cinnamon sugar swirl.

Maya: He knows the booty looks like cake, but now it smells like one too.

Charlise: Blow off the candles and take a bite.

[Cut to Beck singing]

Beck: [singing] Perfumed aroma
and I’m talking back door
she’s got that ass of an angel
wanna smell it some more.

[Cut back to Maya and Charlise]

Charlise: Ass Angel Perfume Jeans are also made of lavender, rose and loads of awesome industrial chemicals.

Maya: That’s a whole lot of smell. I gotta sit down.

[Maya takes a set]

Charlise: Oh, no. Not on the furniture.

[Maya stands immediately]

Maya: What? Oh, wow, my butt bleached the seat.

Charlise: That’s the magic of the jeans of course.

Maya: Hey. I went to the bathroom earlier and it stung when I tinkled. Is that the jeans?

Charlise: Yah-hah. Do not wear these jeans if you have kidney or liver problems.

[Beck walks into the bar and meets Maya and Charlise.]

Beck: Smelling good, ladies.

[Beck touches Maya’s butt, and it burns him.]

Oh, that ass is hot.

Maya: And so is my front.

Beck: Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go sing.

[Cut to Beck, Maya and Charlise all singing]

Beck: [singing] She’s got the ass of an angel

Maya and Charlise: Ass of an anger

Beck: Do you smell my angel?

Maya and Charlise: Smell my angel

Beck: Do they wear jeans in heaven
that ass of my prayers

Female voice: Ass Angel jeans. Consult your doctor before purchasing.

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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