Issa Rae
Kyle Mooney
[Starts with Issa Rae looking at her phone in SNL hall way. Kyle Mooney walks to her.]
Kyle: Hey, Issa.
Issa: Hi, Kyle, what’s up?
Kyle: Um, just hanging there. [Kyle just starts dancing.] How has the week been?
Issa: Um, what are you doing?
Kyle: Nothing. Just chilling. [Kyle starts dancing again]
Issa: Seems like you’re dancing pretty hard over there.
Kyle: Really? Hmm. Not that I’ve noticed that. [starts dancing again.]
Issa: Stop. Is this just because Justin Bieber is here?
Kyle: Justin?
[Cut to Justin Bieber’s practice sessions where Kyle is dancing at the backstage.]
Oh! Yeah, Justin Bieber. The kid singer or whatever?
Issa: Wait, did you think that if I saw you dancing, I would be so blown away that I’d tell him about it?
Kyle: No. [Issa looks at Kyle funnily] Yes.
Issa: What? I’m the host. I don’t recommend dancers.
Kyle: Um-hmm. Got it. [starts singing and dancing]
Issa: Stop. I’m not going to let you do Aretha like that. Look, even if you were a backup dancer, he’s not into something like that. Coz he’s more into something like this. [Now Issa starts singing and dancing]
Kyle: Wow. You dance well.
Issa: Well, just a little something.
[Kyle and Issa start staring at each other in a challenging way.]
[Music video starts. Issa and Kyle are wearing black leather outfits.]
[music playing]
Issa and Kyle: [singing] Funk jam in the future
funk jam to survive
[Cut back to Issa and Kyle in the hallway. They’re dancing. Chance the Rapper walks to them.]
Kyle: Oh, Mr. Rapper the Chance.
Issa: We were just–
Kyle: Rehearsing them all up.
Issa: Yeah. You might know me from my show “Insecure”.
Kyle: Yes. I really like that.
Issa: Thank you.
Chance the Rapper: Cool. Could you guys let Justin know that I came by?
Issa: Oh. Aren’t you performing with him?
Chance the Rapper: Yeah. But he doesn’t know I can do this. [he starts singing and dancing, but unlike Issa and Kyle, he is dancing really well.]
[Chance the Rapper leaves]
Issa: We have no chance against Chance.
Kyle: Well, but if we combine forces.
Issa: Yeah, what was that thing you did earlier?
Kyle: It was that “Gotta bring that funk with it.
Issa: Yeah!
[A man walks to them]
Man: Mr. Mooney, I have your covid results. You’re positive. [Issa walks back] Yeah, so you have to leave.
Kyle: Right. “Get down with it.”
Man: No. You have to leave now.
Kyle: Hey Issa, “What you want?”
Issa: Hey, you gotta go, man.
Kyle: Right. Bring it in? [trying to hug Issa]
Issa: Not gonna do that.
Kyle: Okay.
Man: Okay, here’s your stuff. Please leave, sir.
Kyle: Well, what can I say? My life is random.
Man: Okay, don’t talk to the camera.
Kyle: Sorry about that.
