Chris Redd
Kyle Mooney
Louis… Danel Craig
Lisa… Kate McKinnon
Duff… Heidi Gardner
Ego Nwodim
Melissa Villaseñor
[Starts with a group of colleagues playing board games in home.]
Chris: One more settlement and boom! That’s seven points victory. Marcus?
Kyle: Oh, man! Come on!
Louis: And here I am thinking we’re gonna have a nice pleasant game night with my wife’s work colleagues. And what? It’s a blood bath.
Lisa: Well, I hate to break it to you guys but I think we’re out of game.
Meli: It’s late. We should probably get going anyway.
Duff: Or we could quote?
Lisa: What’s that?
Duff: Um, we could quote? Like, say lines from movies and guess them?
Lisa: Oh. Oh. Okay. Is that a game that you like, Duff?
Duff: Yeah. Yeah. It really is.
Kyle: Actually, I just called a Lyft home. So…
Duff: Oh, then um… cancel it coz looks like we’re gonna quote.
Ego: Um, okay. Umm… I can start. “You’re a wizard, Harry.”
All: Harry Potter.
Duff: —and the sorcerer’s stone.
Louis: Oh. She’s right. Duff gets the point.
Duff: Yeah, cool. And now, I get to go coz I got that one. Okay. “I need two new suits off the rack. One light and one dark.”
Ego: No clue.
Louis: On, no, no, no. I know this one. This is… Aviator.
Duff: Oh, dammit! That was too easy.
Chris: Easy? That sounded vague as hell.
Duff: [looking at Louis deeply] Wow. You know your quote.
Louis: Yeah, I actually do.
Duff: Hah! Big D energy over there.
Louis: Yeah, that too.
Lisa: Louis, what was that?
Louis: It’s my turn. Here we go. “Thanks for walking in and now if you’ll excuse me, I’m not feeling so well.”
Duff: As good as it gets.
Louis: Oh!
Ego: What?
Kyle: You’re killing me.
Louis: How were you able to do that?
Duff: What? Do you quote?
Louis: Yeah.
Duff: Um, I don’t know. Probably coz I spend a lot of time watching movies all the time.
Louis: Hah. So, you’re a little quote queen?
Duff: I mean, if you’d say that. What– What are you? A flick daddy?
Louis: Only the biggest flick daddy you’ll ever meet in your whole life.
Lisa: Louise? Pal, you have a job.
Louis: No, I don’t. I’ve got fired six months ago.
[Louis turns towards Duff]
Lisa: Excuse me?
Louis: You’re very serious. [looks away] Who’s up?
Chris: Yeah. Maybe let’s stick to like, more well known quotes.
Duff: Sorry, but there’s no rule against deep movie.
Louis: No, she’s right. You know, it’s not a game if you don’t deep quote.
Lisa: Louis, deep quote?
Louis: Yeah, bud. Deep quote.
Lisa: The ‘bud’ thing gotta stop right now.
Duff: Alright. Okay, okay. My turn. Guess I’ll pick an easy one. Okay. “Hey, hi, I didn’t know you were here.”
Louis: Got it. No, no. Someone else go. Someone else go.
Kyle: Duff, it’s not a ton of identifying information in there.
Ego: Yeah, girl. What are you quoting?
Louis: Guys, it’s easy. Failure to Launch. Keep up, you morons.
Chris: Hey, I don’t like that.
Meli: Hey, Duff, maybe let’s play this another time.
Duff: What? No. We’re tied 2-2. I’m not about to lay down and let Lisa’s hot husband rail me.
Lisa: My husband?
Ego: Rail you?
Duff: Okay, okay, okay. Come on, quote off. You and me.
Louis: Alright. Let’s go, little girl.
Duff: Okay. “What made you pick me?”
Louis: Captain Phillips.
Duff: Ugh! Dammit. Go.
Louis: Only buddy goodie. “What are we supposed to do?”
Duff: Captain Phillips. Oh! Trying to trick me. Okay.
Louis: Ha-ha-ha-ha.
Duff: Okay. Here’s another one. “It’s okay.”
Louis: Captain Phillips. You sneaky bitch!
[Duff and Louis are giggling]
Ego: Stop quoting Captain Phillips.
Louis: Okay, okay, okay. Here we go. “Go-do-un-bujah.”
Duff: “Go-do-un-bujah.” They are rich. parasite!
Meli: Parasite?
Chris: So, now you y’all know Korean? That’s stupid.
Duff: Okay, okay. Final round. No words, act out only.
Louis: Alright. Easy. I’ll start.
[Louis just raises his hands]
Duff: Up In the Air.
Louis: Ah!
Duff: Got it.
All: Up In the Air?
Duff: Okay, okay. My turn.
[Duff just coughs. Now, Duff and Louis are standing facing each other.]
Louis: Oh, Philadelphia! Get out!
Duff: Alright. Okay. You’re up.
Louis: Okay, okay. I got it.
[Louis kisses Duff]
All: No! No! No!
Duff: The notebook.
Louis: Ah!
Duff: I knew it was Gosling from your tongue.
[Lisa stands]
Lisa: Alright. Enough of this. Get out of my house.
Duff: [pointing at Lisa] Broke By Mountain.
Louis: Broke By Mountain.
Lisa: Get the hell out.
