Digital Exclusive- Dr. Birx Ad


Dr. Deborah Birx… Chloe Fineman

[Starts with Dr. Deborah speaking]

Dr. Deborah Birx: Hello, I’m Dr. Deborah Birx, Coronavirus Response Coordinator. You’ve seen me beside President Trump everyday providing my medical expertise. I’m on the front lines of this pandemic synthesizing critical, dense information so that the public can digest it. And your takeaway is, “Wow! That lady sure has a lot of scarves.”

[a couple of news articles about her scarves pop up on the screen]

Give my three decade long career as an expert in HIV AIDS immunology, vaccine research and global health, I think it’s wonderful that at the end of the day, scarves is the take away. I mean, you’re really latched on to the scarf thing. I love that. So, I’ve decided to lean in and design my own line for Mother’s Day.

Looking for something subtle and understated? Here’s one to love. [showing a scarf with “Screw you, I’m a doctor” written on it.]

Or, how about this? A whimsical pattern that says, “Do you know I went to medical school?” [showing the scarf]

And this one is birds. [showing the scarf] Because I like birds. Not everything has to be a thing.

I’ve answered all the tough questions like, “How do we stop this spread? Can we drink bleach?” But what you want to know is, “How do you fold your scarf?”

[Cut to Dr. Deborah showing how to fold scarf.]

Let me show you a simple timeless fold. Fold one. Fold two. And fold three.

Oh, here’s my favorite. A real statement piece. [showing the scarf] An actual statement piece. A message from the CDC. If this is the only thing that you’re zeroing in on while I’m talking, let’s make it count. Honestly, I don’t care if it’s sexist or not. Go ahead, buy a scarf for Mother’s Day. Just stay inside and stay away from Mom. Thank you.

So order today, wherever the hell scarves are sold.

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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