Denise… Ego Nwodim
[Starts with “Momming with Denise” intro.]
Female voice: Being a mom is natural. It’s what we’re born to do. And I’m here to help. This is “Momming with Denise.”
[Cut to Denise inside her closet at home]
Denise: [whispering] Hi, it’s me, Denise Coman. This is week 6 or 95, I don’t know. I think I hate my kids. You know, I said, “Kids, I need five minutes to myself.” They said no. Just like that. “No.” The other day, we watched all the Harry Potter movies and somehow only 40 minutes had passed. How is that even possible? [whispering] They still think I go to work. I just hide in here for two hours. I told my kids I’m a nurse. That’s bad.
I can’t let them find me. They’re gonna make me do another tiktok dance.
[Cut to small clip of Denise’s tiktok]
Or worse, their homework. I can’t multiply fractions. I will not feel dumb while the world is on a fire. No.
[her kids making noise outside] Oh, god. I hear them. I hear their little feet.
Kids: [yelling] Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!
Denise: Yesterday, they said they made me a present. And I said, “did you fold your clothes?” And they said, “Come look.” And they dumped mustard on the carpet. That’s not a present. [whispering] I tried to do a scavenger hunt to keep them busy and they found my vibrator. I told them it was a toy and now they do karaoke with it. I just let ’em.
Husband: Baby. Baby. Where you at? [kids making noise] Baby, I need you. They don’t want to put pants on. Baby, they’re your kids too.
Denise: Last night, my son asked me if he needs to wipe his penis after he pees. And I realize, I don’t know. Okay, I can’t stay in here forever. Wish me luck.
[Cut to “Momming with Denise” video bumper.]
[Cut to Ego in the closet again. Now, she has sauce all over her face.]
Hey, guys. A quick follow up. The kids say pasta now. So, I’m gonna go be dinner. don’t forget to smash that like button. Bye.
[The End]
