Election Ad


Kenan: Everyone knows this could be the most important election in our nation’s history.

Melissa: And the two choices couldn’t be more different.

Bowen: Do we want four more years of Donald Trump?

Ego: Or a fresh start with Joe Biden?

Punkie: Can we survive four more years of scandal, name calling and racial division?

Alex: Or do we want a leader who unites the country?

Pete: I wanna vote for Biden because he’s better, smarter, better and better. But I’m worried.

Beck: I’m worried too.

Bowen: Because if Donald Trump isn’t our president…

Ego: Then what are we gonna talk about?

Kenan: Like, what will our conversations even be?

Pete: Because the only thing I talked about for four years is Donald Trump.

Bowen: Every single day I tell someone, “Can you believe what Trump just said?”

Melissa: My entire personality is hating Donald Trump. If he’s gone, what am I supposed to do? Focus on my kids again? No, thanks.

Andrew: I argue with my dad everyday about Trump. Before this, we hadn’t spoken in years.

Punkie: I used to watch civil rights videos and wonder what it would be like to live in those times. Now, thanks to Trump, I get it.

Alex: What does the news even going to be about now?

Kenan: I am really worried for Rachel Maddow. What is she even going to talk about?

Pete: And what about Tweets? What am I going to send to my friends and be like, “This is the crazies thing I’ve ever seen?” And then one out of every 10, I’d be like, “This is legit funny. He is genuinely hilarious.”

Alex: Sure, he is historically bad for the country, but he gave us so much.

Beck: Injecting bleach in our blood.

Ego: Openly calling African nations [bleep] holes.

Melissa: “Kids in cages” wasn’t even a phrase before Trump.

Kenan: He changed the game.

Pete: He called the Attorney General he appointed ‘mentally retarded’. That’s some next level [bleep].

Kenan: I mean he started with an impression of disabled reported. That was the starting point. Best case scenario, Biden gets there at about like, year three.

Ego: That’s why on November 3rd, I’ll be worried.

Andrew: About the election, sure.

Melissa: The future of democracy or whatever.

Beck: But I’ll really be worried about my favorite villain disappearing.

Pete: Like, if they replaced the joker with Batman’s butler Alfred. Sure, Gotham would be more stable, but I’d rather watch the Joker blow up a hospital.

Kenan: And then I remembered that even if he loses, Trump isn’t going away.

Alex: Yeah. If anything, he’s going to get more vocal.

Ego: And angrier.

Pete: And crazier.

Kenan: And with all his crimes, there’s bound to be a trial at some point. And maybe Trump will represent himself in court. Okay, I gotta stop getting my hopes up.

Beck: And then who knows, maybe Donald and Ivanka will run together in 2024.

Ego: [interrupting] Uh-uh, what is wrong with you?

Andrew: Bro?

Beck: What? I was just throwing it out there.

Kenan: Now it’s going to happen and I’m going to hate you for it.

Pete: It would be hilarious though.

Male voice: Paid for by Trump Addicts of America. You know he’s bad for you but it’s hard to imagine life without him.

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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