Paul Rudd
Mandy… Heidi Gardner
[Starts with Paul Rudd in his house Facetiming]
Paul Rudd: Hey, I’m just gonna Facetime with my cousin real quick. I haven’t seen her since we were kids and she’s just checking in with the family, wants to make sure everyone’s okay. [Facetime ringing] Oh, there she is. Hello?
Mandy: Hello? Little Pauley?
Paul Rudd: Mandy?
Mandy: Yeah, Mandy. Pretty Mandy.
Paul Rudd: It’s been a while.
Mandy: Yeah, it has. So, do you still go swimming?
Paul Rudd: Um, well, um, sometimes.
Mandy: I knew it. I knew you still swim. Yeah. Um, do you still do coloring?
Paul Rudd: Oh, not much coloring these days. No.
Mandy: That’s okay.
Paul Rudd: Are you okay? You seem a little– I don’t know. Forgive me for asking. Do you have coronavirus?
Mandy: No. Do you have coronavirus? Man, you different. You changed, little Pauley, you changed.
Paul Rudd: Well, I would imagine so. Yeah. I haven’t seen you since I was seven. I mean, I’m grown. I’ve got a wife. I’ve got a demanding job.
Mandy: That’s not what I heard. No. Because cousin David said all your jobs got shut down.
Paul Rudd: Oh, well, yeah. Everyone’s kind of did.
Mandy: No. No. I saw the movie Wonder Woman did with all the other celebrities where they sang the [singing ‘Imagine’] Imagine there’s some people
Paul Rudd: Oh, that wasn’t a movie. That was just a thing.
Mandy: So, you weren’t famous enough to be in there?
Paul Rudd: No. Apparently not. Hey, it’s not so bad, honestly. It’s kind of nice taking a bit of a break. Made some fun summer salads.
Mandy: Ooh, ratatouille.
Paul Rudd: Yeah. That’s–
Mandy: The movie sucks.
Paul Rudd: Ratatouille does? It’s a good movie.
Mandy: Speaking of movies, weren’t you nominated for Golden Globe award?
Paul Rudd: I was. Yeah. That was a real thrill.
Mandy: Yeah. But then whose name did they read? That’s the winner.
Paul Rudd: Ah! Not mine.
Mandy: No, they didn’t. They said, “The Golden Globes goes to Ramy Youssef.”
Paul Rudd: That kind of stuff doesn’t matter much to me.
Mandy: It will matter once Ramy Youssef is the new Ant-man. When he’s wearing your suit. Pretty soon, Ramy Youssef is gonna be the new You-ssef.
Paul Rudd: You don’t have to keep saying Ramy Youssef. I get it. What about you? You’ve won any awards lately?
Mandy: [showing a trophy] Last night, I won tic-tac-toe.
Paul Rudd: What’s ti-ta-to?
Mandy: A tic-tac-toe. Three x’s in a row.
Paul Rudd: Tic-tac=toe, got you.
Mandy: I played down at the bar and I got–
Paul Rudd: I don’t think you’re supposed to be going to bars.
Mandy: No one got corona at Jizzy’s. Plus I wore my gloves. [showing her biker gloves]
Paul Rudd: Those are fingerless gloves. I don’t know–
Mandy: Hey, you remember when we kissed?
Paul Rudd: You know what? I think I’m gonna jump off for a second.
Mandy: We kissed! And you started.
Paul Rudd: But it’s been so nice talking to you. Freezing up. Hold on.
[Paul Rudd hangs up]
Mandy: Where is he? I’ll call him back.
