Matt… Kyle Mooney
Kenan Thompson[Starts with Beck getting in his hotel room]
Female voice: It’s happening again. You’re drunk and you’re ordering food.
Beck: [on the phone] Hey, ya, I’ll do the buffalo wings, some calamari, bacon cheese burger and maybe some fries. And onion rings too.[split screen to Beck on left and Melissa on right.]
Melissa: And how many people will be dining?
Beck: Um, four.
Female voice: You told her there were four people dining but it’s really just you. Or is it?[Beck snaps is fingers and three dummies wearing clothes appear behind him]
Introducing Food Dudes. Three realistic mannequins that can sit with you when the food gets delivered, so no one thinks you’re an animal.[Cut to Melissa brings in the food at Beck’s door.]
Melissa: Room service for four. I guess, this was a reasonable order.
Female voice: Plus, Food Dudes are noticeably overweight. [All the mannequins have big bellies] So everyone thinks they ordered most of the food.[Cut to three mannequins and Beck with food on the table before them. Melissa is looking at them.]
Beck: These guys, am I right? What a bunch of slobs.
Melissa: Hold up! [Cut to Melissa] I wanna see one of them eat.
Female voice: Don’t worry. Food Dudes are completely motorized so they can realistically pick up and ingest human food.[One mannequin picks up and eats the food.]
Melissa: I’m convinced. They’re real guys.
Female voice: And best of all, the inside of each Food Dude is a fully functioning microwave [Beck opens the mannequin’s pant and it’s butt is the microwave.] So when you’re alone again, simply open up the mannequin’s rear end an enjoy the rest of your meal.
Beck: Umm, piping hot.
Female voice: And Food Dudes can talk, so they’re perfect for shameless deliveries.[Cut to Mikey delivering food at Matt’s door]
Mikey: Yeah, I got two large pizzas for Matt.
Matt: Um, well they’re not just for me.
Mikey: Dude, come on![Cut to mannequins talking]
Mannequin: Hey, hurry up with the food we’re all splitting.
Mannequin: Yeah, the other three of us are starving.
Mannequin: Plus, we’re noticeably overweight.[Cut to Mikey]
Mikey: Wow! I was wrong. Have fun with your diverse friends.[Cut to Matt]
Matt: Thanks Food Dudes!
Female voice: And Food Dudes are easy to transport in their Food Dude Cocoons.
And they’re perfect for drive-throughs too.[Cut to Kenan at the drive-through. He has the mannequins on his passenger seats.]
Kenan: Yeah, can I get 24 cheese burgers? And it ain’t all for me. These mannequins are gonna have some too.
Drive through: Excuse me?[A mannequin sitting at Kenan’s back puts it’s hand on Kenan’s shoulder]
Mannequin: Thank you, daddy.
Kenan: It’s creeping me though.
Female voice: Food Dudes, not for sex.[The End]