SoulCycle at Home

0
(0)

Phoenix… Cecily Strong

Lee… Bowen Yang

Korona… Ego Nwodim

Toyota… Chris Redd

Robert… Beck Bennett

Heidi Gardner

[Starts with “Soulcycle Virtual Workouts” intro] [Cut to Phoenix in her home]

Phoenix: Welcome. Welcome. My name is Phoenix, as in the University of… Soulcycle’s closed right now. So, we put together this live stream with the trainer fan. We may not have bikes, but that won’t stop us from charging you to watch us working out. Let’s go!

[Cut to Lee in his home]

Lee: Wad up, wad up, Soulcycle computer? They call me Lee, short for Harvey Oswald. It’s crazy to think that people could be watching this anywhere to Los Angeles to California. I’ve been hearing a lot about squatters, right? So, let’s get ’em. [starts squatting] Always try to keep a positive attitude. I moved to New York two days before quarantine. Shoutout to my roommate who catfished me. He ain’t no leggy blonde, but it’s his personality I fell in love with. Let’s go!

[Cut to Korona in her home]

Korona: My name is Korona with the K. I’m always overcoming adversity. When I was little, they told me I was pretty enough to act like not model. So, I joined tiktok where I do neither. Let’s go!

[Cut to Toyota in his home]

Toyota: I am Toyota. And I hear a lot of people talking about antibodies. Ah! Pro body. Quarantine, day two, let’s go!

[Cut to Robert in his home]

Robert: I am Robert, like, Julia Robert. And I’m good vibes only. Who do I stay home for? Me! Because I’m quarantined and on house arrest. Two birds, let’s go!

[Cut to Heidi in her home]

Heidi: What’s up? I’m Molly. Sorry, I’m on Molly. I’m not gonna get COVID-19 coz I’m 22. Liberate Michigan, let’s go!

[Heidi is working out]

Wow! It’s burning now.

[Cut to Lee]

Lee: This pandemic has affected everyone. Coachella, cancelled. South by south west, cancelled. Bill Cosby, cancelled. How dare? We need doctors right now. Let’s push!

[Cut to Toyota]

Toyota: Commit to what you start! [sits on his couch] I ain’t finishing ‘ozark.’ Let’s go!

[Cut to Lee]

Lee: I’m on a juice cleanse right now. Corox juice. Eat clean!

[Cut to Heidi]

Heidi: This one’s called the bow and arrow. [stretching the resistant band] It’s gonna go way back! [the resistant band hits her cheek] Oh! Oww!

[Cut to Korona]

Korona: My mantra, eat, pray, pray. That’s right. I’m not and religious. It’s a trap. Let’s go!

[Cut to Lee]

Lee: Just because we’re in quarantine doesn’t mean we can’t connect, meet up, go to the beach, hug, touch, kiss an old guy on the mouth at the mall. Let’s go!

[Cut to Phoenix]

Phoenix: I just got word that our positive attitude and good bodies cured coronavirus. [wears her glasses] Oh, wait. Oh, no. Sorry. Rooter’s Steakhouse is delivering. Ah!

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

Average rating 0 / 5. Vote count: 0

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

Subscribe
Notify of
guest
0 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments