Weekend Update- Vin Diesel Releases Song

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Colin Jost

Michael Che

[Starts with Colin Jost in his news set. There’s a picture of Mitch McConnell at left top corner.]

 Colin Jost: Mitch McConnell seen here calmly watching an injured puppy try to cross a busy highway, said that the senate would move forward with a vote on Trump’s supreme court nominee even though he denied Obama’s nominee a vote in Michael Che0Colin Jost6. And if that makes you angry at Mitch McConnell, you’re going to be really upset when you find out your anger sexually excites him.

[Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of Tennessee Titans logo at right top corner.]

 Michael Che: That’s gross. The Tennessee Titans halted in person wokouts after three players tested positive for the coronavirus. Well, I guess we’ve got to cancel the whole season and forget it ever happened, said the New York Jets.

[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of an article that says ‘woman arrested for importing bull semen’ at left top corner.]

 Colin Jost: This is fun. A Canadian was fined more than $Michael Che5,000 for illegally importing bull semen. Meanwhile, in the US, bull semen is sold legally under the name ‘White Claw’. [Picture changes to three cans of White Claw soda.] [Picture changes to a news article that says ‘New law making boards of directors more diverse’.]

A new law has been passed in California requiring companies to have more diversity in their board of directors, which is how I forced my way on to the board of BET. “BET, there’s gonna be some changes around here.”

[Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of a lizard at right top corner.]

 Michael Che: The CDC reported that there’s a salmonella outbreak involving people who had pet bearded dragons. So, if you have one at home, remember to cook them all the way through.

[Picture changes to Vin Diesel]

Actor Vin Diesel has released a dance music song called “Feel like I do.” And look, I know a lot of people are making fun of him and saying it’s terrible and he should stick to acting…

[Michael Che looks away] [Cut to Colin Jost. He is waiting for Michael Che to finish. There’s a picture of Pogo stick at left top corner.]

 Colin Jost: A seven year old boy in Pennsylvania set a new world record by bouncing on a pogo stick over Michael Che,000 times in a row. Said the boys parents, “Open the schools!”

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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