Anya Taylor-Joy Monologue

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Anya Taylor-Joy

[Starts with SNL monologue intro]
[Cut to SNL stage]
[Band is playing music]

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Anya Taylor-Joy.

[Anya Taylor-Joy walks in and to the stage]
[cheers and applause]

Anya Taylor-Joy: Thank you. Thank you very, very much. Goodness, it is such an honor to be here hosting the season finale of Saturday Night Live. And this show is even more special because it’s the first time this year, we have a completely full audience fully vaccinated. But if you’re feeling nervous sitting so close to another person, just picture them naked. Wait, just kidding. We’ve all been inside for a year. Everybody is picturing everybody naked. Now that you’re hearing my accent, you may be surprised to know I was born in Miami, raised between– [cheers] Oh, nice. Raised between Argentina and London, and my first language is Spanish. So, legally my ethnicity is fashion week.

I was lucky enough to be on a show called “The Queen’s Gambit”. I’m so proud of it. For those of you who didn’t see it, what were you doing all quarantine? It was “Tiger King” and “Queen’s Gambit”. That was the only new TV for months. I’m happy to say that after watching the show, millions of people bought chess sets and dozens of them actually learned how to play. But if you’re one of those people that think chess is too difficult, don’t worry, it’s not. And I’m going to teach you a secret I learned on this show. So, no matter what your skill level is, your very first chess move should always be this. [putting her both hands below her chin] And if you’re really advanced, you just do one of these. [she puts her both hands below her chin again, and this time raises her eyebrows.] And that’s how you play chess, guys.

Being on the Queen’s Gambit really helped me prepare to host SNL. I just thought, “Okay, if I get nervous, I’ll take a handful of green pills and follow the cue cards and the dots. [music playing] Oh, wait. It’s kicking in now. Um-hmm. [she looks above]

[Cut to all cue cards being mumble-jumbled in the air. Then the cue cards form a chess board. The Chess pieces have SNL cast members’ faces on them.]
[Cut back to Anya Taylor-Joy]

Okay, if you saw that, that means you did drugs too.

Before we begin, it would mean the world to me to start the show in my native language, so you guys don’t mind, do you? Is that okay?

[cheers and applause]

In which case… [foreign language]

We will be right back.

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